PATRIARCHY

thirteen

chapter 13

the twentieth of june, 2155

The window in my room overlooking our big garden is foggy this morning. Thousands of tiny beads of condensed water accumulate at the corners of the glass, creating beautiful shadows as rays of sunlight passes through them. I touch it, and I'm surprised at how warm it is.

Our garden is quite extraordinary--Mother and I see to that. She does most of the work, but I did help her plant the rose bushes and the lavenders sitting on top of the brick fence at the end. I actually enjoy it, working with my hands. Dirt would gather under my fingernails, and I didn't mind, but Father certainly did. He wouldn't let me have dinner until they were completely clean.

I have all the time in the world now, I think to myself. In just a few hours, I'll live somewhere else, with blank grass for me to decorate.

Just a few hours now.

I walk to the mirror, and I straighten out the maroon dress that is already wrinkling around my waist. I pinch the excess lipstick away from the corners of my lips, and I narrow my wide eyes, trying my best not to look completely and utterly terrified.

I almost forgot it was my birthday today. I was reminded when Mother sang me "Happy Birthday" to wake me up. I think that'll be it for the birthday celebration this year.

My room is now empty, with only the furniture remaining. All of my belongings are in cardboard boxes, being stacked into our car outside by Father and Thomas. In just a few minutes, It'll take us to the city arena, where I'll be claimed.

I think of standing center-stage, overlooking the thousands of people watching me being handed out, and a shiver crawls up my spine. Being in the crowd for so many years hasn't made me dread it any less, but I don't really have anything to fear. Two men have already told me they will stand up. I glance at myself in the mirror again before leaving my bedroom. Why do I look so scared?

Walking down the stairs, I watch the dozens of pictures hanging on the wall leading down to the hallway. They capture Father, Mother, Thomas and myself at our best moments. Based on these pictures, we look like the perfect family. It saddens me that I won't be seeing these pictures every day. My family and I won't lose all contact, but after today, I'll have a new family.

Every time I think I've decided who I'll choose, the weight of it dawns on me, and I become unsure again. Xander or Alden. Alden or Xander. This is the most important decision I'll ever make, and I have to make the right one.

"Good luck today," I hear Thomas behind me. I walk down the final step of the staircase, and I hug him. His arms squeeze tightly around me, and the inner corners of my eyes sting. Over his shoulder, I see Mother smiling at me with trembling lips.

"I'll miss you," he says, and a tear falls when I shut my eyes. I lean my head back, giving him a final squeeze before releasing him. I carefully wipe the tear away with my finger, and we both smile at each other.

"You too."

It's true. I think I am going to miss him the most. While Father lectured and criticized my every move, Thomas never really cared if I sat with my elbows on the table or disagreed with him. I'll miss that. There'll be none of that after today, no matter who I choose.