1 so much sponge

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(Y/n) was nervous.  I mean, that's not out of the norm.  They had a tendency to be nervous about… pretty much everything.  Okay, that's an exaggeration. But still, they're nervous right now.  And for a solid reason this time!

They tapped their fingers on the leather cushion of the couch they were sitting on, staring intensely at the plethora of plushies on the desk in front of them.  Geez. I mean, they love cartoons as much as the next guy, but that's a little much. They hoped they hadn't gotten the wrong room, or accidentally made an appointment with a child therapist, or—

“Dah.  Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah.”  The recognizable tune from the Krusty Krab Training Video filled the room and (y/n) gasped, whipping their head to the door.

“Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah DAH.  Dah dah dah dah dah DAH. Dah dah dah dah dah DAH dah DAH dah DAH.”  The probably-therapist continued, kicking his leg through the door, which the new patient assumed was for dramatic effect.  (Y/n) grinned, clutching their bag with one hand.

“DEE DOT-LY DOT-LY–” He took a quick gasp of air before continuing, “–DEE DOT-LY DOT-LY DOT-LY DOT-LY DAAAA!”

The magenta-haired therapist burst through the door, holding out his arms in a jazz hand motion and panting slightly.  He had probably the goofiest smile (y/n) had ever seen on their face, and (y/n) couldn't stop themselves from returning the smile.

“PREPARING THE KRABBY PATTY!” They replied in a shout, throwing their arms in the air.  Probably-Dr. Picani somehow broke into an even bigger grin, shuffling over to his desk after shutting the door.

“Glad to see someone understands classic cartoon culture!  New patient, do you how do?” Definitely-Dr. Picani asked cheerfully.

“I anything, can't do right since, because… pickles.”  They quote from memory, a smile still prevalent on their face.  They both share a giggle over their shared reference, before (y/n) sighed and crossed their leg over their lap.

“For serious though, nice to meet you.  Dr. Picani, I'm assuming?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow, holding out their hand for a handshake.

“Correct-a-mundo, Dr. Emile Picani at your service!  It's nice to meet you too!” He smiled warmly, leaning over the desk and shaking their hand politely.  Jesus, everything about this guy just screamed warm.  (Y/n)’s smile seemed to be permanent as they leaned back and sunk into the couch.

“Right, I'm (y/n).  Uh, I guess you already knew that though.  They, them pronouns, if you don't mind.” They added awkwardly, scratching at their face.

“Gotcha, gotcha!  I use he, him myself.”  Emile nodded, making some marks in his notebook.  (Y/n) silently thanked fuck that this guy wasn't a transphobe.

“Awesome.”  They trailed off without saying anything else, awkwardly looking to the side while Emile continued to scribble in his notepad.

“Okie-dokie, look!  I drew us as Spongebob and Patrick, I'm Patrick cause of my almost-pink-pigmented pilus– OH MY GOODNESS, ALLITERATION!” Emile shouted excitedly, spinning his notebook around to show a fairly crude drawing of both of them amalgamated into the classic Spongebob characters.  It was kind of a nightmare to be honest, but not-too-shabby for being done in a solid minute.

“That's… wow.” (Y/n) laughed incredulously, a smile returning to their face.

I KNOW RIGHT!  Ahem.  So anyways, what brings ya to me today, (y/n)?  Not that I don't love serving up smiles!” Emile relaxed in his chair, watching the way (y/n)'s face lit up at the usage of yet another Spongebob reference.

“Right, well, it's not really super important, to be honest.  My life's fairly cushy, I mean, aside from some stuff. But nothing really bad, you know?  I guess mostly I was just kinda… for lack of a better word, lonely?  Oh god, that was a horrible word, not lonely. I have a bunch of friends and stuff. I mean all but one have moved away for college or other stuff but like, I'm still cool.  God, I dunno.” They sighed, mussing up their hair with one hand. Emile's smile didn't completely fade, but it did shift to a slightly softer one.

“You know, a lot of well-adjusted people go to therapy.  I have one or two patients who just come every so often to talk about their feelings or chat or such things.  It sounds like you're explaining something perfectly normal…” The corner of (Y/n’s) mouth twitched, the smallest smile pulling at their lips.  “Being lonely isn't a weakness, and being able to accept that fact is just another strength. It shows that you’re willing to improve. Besides, I can tell it'll be nice to talk to you!  You've already gotten all of my cartoon references!” Emile finished his speech with a funny voice, “Isn't that lovely?”

(Y/n) gasped excitedly, snapping their fingers. “Oh!  That's Marvin the Martian, right?”

Emile gasped as well, and when I say gasped, I mean GASPED. “Great googly moogly!  Nobody ever gets that reference!”

“...there is no way you watched Maggie and the Ferocious Beast, did you?”

“Oh.  My. GOODNESS!”  Emile screamed, pushing his chair back and standing up.  He made wild, choppy movements with his arms for a solid thirty seconds, letting out random squawking sounds the whole time.  Let me tell you, it was very amusing to watch. Finally, he snapped out of it, putting his hands on his flushed cheeks.

“You and I are cartoon buddy SOULMATES!”  He screeched, falling back into his chair.

(Y/n) finally broke, completely unable to hold in their loud, boisterous laughter. “I'll fucking drink to that, dude!” They wheezed, raising an imaginary glass in their hands.
They could already tell, this was gonna be great.

(981 words)

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AYE LOOK WHO FINALLY PUBLISHED THIS SHIT YALL

GET READY WEVE GOT LIKE 8ISH XHAPTERS OR SMTH

EDITED BY spreekachu AND MYSELF

SHE WAS SUCH A BIG HELP YALL

CHECK HER OUT SHES AN AMAZING AUTHOR

WE MADE TOO MANY JOKES WHILE MAKING THIS JSKDJSDJ

I LOVE YALL FUCKS

🌌🌌🌌

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