Date Your Therapist

6 digadig

4:02 PM

Me
Yo PeterPiperPickedAPeckOfPickledPeppers let's go to Barnes and Noble today it's uber nice outside plus it's only like a 15 minute walk from your office I googled it plus I wanna get a copy of this book I've been neglecting to read

Emile Pickanose :):):)
Gotcha gotcha :):):):):):)
You can just meet me outside of the building :)

Me
👍👍👍👍

Emile Pickanose :):):)
:)
Read 4:07 PM

(Y/n) stuck their phone in their pocket, grinning as they started up their car. After the twenty-or-so minute drive, they pulled into the parking lot. They grinned as they saw Emile waiting outside, doing some sort of hip-shake dance like something you'd see in a video game from 2008. (Y/n) hopped out, racing towards Emile and squeezing him into a hug.

"What the heck was that dance, dude? I mean, I absolutely loved it and I want to learn it, but still!" They sniggered, pulling back and shivering slightly.

"Oh, it's called the hip-shaker dance! It's actually from a video game I played in 2008! Tryna keep myself warm, don'tcha know! This autumn's gotten chilly pretty quick." Emile beamed at them, sliding his arm through theirs.

"That's oddly specific, I LOVE IT! And also I KNOW RIGHT IT'S SO COLD!" They began skipping down the sidewalk with Emile in tow.

"I'll show it to ya next week, then! What's this book you were talking about?" Emile laughed, humming The Wizard Of Oz as they skipped down the path lined with orange trees.

"Right! Have you heard of Love, Simon?" (Y/n) hummed along.

"Oh my GOODNESS! I JUST REWATCHED THAT MOVIE THE OTHER DAY!"

"OH MY GOD, RIGHT! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! But I haven't actually read the book it's based off of which is a CRISIS. A GAY CRISIS, I TELL YOU."

"OH MY GOODNESS, YOU HAVE TO LET ME READ IT AFTER YOU!"

They laughed together, continuing to squeal about the amazingness of Love, Simon. Seriously, it's fucking amazing. You have to watch it if you haven't. Or read the original book. Either way, y'all-

They reached the Barnes and Noble in a mere 7 minutes, though they were pretty out of breath. Skipping takes a lot out of you, y'know. They walked inside, chatting all the while as they snatched up the book. They looked around a bit, before ultimately deciding to sit down at the mini built-in Starbucks area.

"Oh. Em. GEE. How the HELL do you guys not have pumpkin spice lattes?" A sassy voice called out loudly, causing Emile and (y/n) to turn their heads to the leather-clad man at the counter.

"Dude, the first day of fall was literally yesterday. We're a Starbucks in Barnes and Noble, we're kinda the last fish in the chain. Sorry to disappoint you, man," the cashier who clearly didn't care about disappointing him said, blowing their yellow-green bangs out of their face.

"This is slander. I'm honestly so offended. Anyway, whatever, can I get a vanilla iced frap with like, five shots of espresso? Oh, and some cinnamon too?" The sunglasses-wearing guy sighed loudly, leaning-...was he trying to be seductive?-with attempted seductivity on the counter. The cashier raised an eyebrow at his order, but rolled their eyes and began making it.

"That much espresso is probably unhealthy for you! I'd suggest a calming tea, or just... less. I know by experience you could end up fairly sleep deprived." Emile chimed in helpfully. The sassy guy turned around, pulling his glasses up to reveal his heavy eyebags.

"College student," he sighed dramatically.

"Sis, I've been there. I applaud you for only doing five," (Y/n) said forlornly, saluting the brave soul. The man grinned, saluting back.

"Here's your death in a cup, sir." The cashier slid the coffee across the counter, picking up their phone.

"Thanks, cutie." The sunglasses dude winked, placing his money on the counter and grabbing his cup. He walked to a corner table, pulling out his laptop and ignoring the now cherry-red hue of the cashier's face.

"I love them," (Y/n) said firmly, whacking their book on the table for emphasis. Emile laughed, a small blush on his face from second-hand embarrassment.

"I do too. Also, I don't know about you but after saying that I NEED a hot chock-o-laht." Emile made a Polar Express reference as he stood up.

"Oh my god, you're a fucking mind reader I swear to god. I was just thinking about how much I was vibing a hot chocolate. Ooh, can we get a cookie too? We can split it." Their eyes lit up as they stood, pulling out their wallet.

"Oh my goodness, YES!" Emile squealed, stepping up to the counter.

"Two hot chocolates and a chocolate chip cookie, my good friend!" Emile said after a moment, noticing how (y/n) hung back slightly.

"Gotcha, sir." The same cashier nodded, getting right on that.

"Make sure they add whipped cream." (Y/n) said in a low voice, trying to be inconspicuous.

"Oh, yeah! 'Scuse me, but can you make sure you put plenty of whipped cream on those?" Emile asked cheerfully, the worker nodded in response.

"Here you go, pal." The seemingly unenthusiastic cashier said politely, setting the drinks and cookie down on the counter. (Y/n) slid their half of the money onto the counter, watching Emile pat his pants in search of his wallet.

"Oh darn, that's right. How much is half of that, again? I never was that great at math." Emile frowned to himself, pulling out his wallet. The cashier read the price to him, and after ten minutes of three adults failing at elementary-level math, the two of them finally sat down with their order.

"Hey, Picani, my dude, my homeboy, my home slice, my scat cat, phat cat, dat cat," (Y/n) deadpanned, gaining a giggle in response.

"Yes, my ooh eeh ooh ah-ah, ting tang walla-walla bing bang?" Emile responded with a laugh. (Y/n) chuckled too, before their face shifted to be unusually serious as they broke off half of the cookie.

"For real though, I wanna say like... thank you for like everything, like uhh... being my friend, I guess? Ew, it sounds cheesy, but that's literally it. I was all like 'I'm so lonely' and you swooped in like WordGirl and just fucking 'I HAVE THE SOLUTION TO THIS PREDICAMENT'. God, I really hope you've seen WordGirl or we're gonna have some serious beef."

(Y/n) chuckled to themselves, rambling a bit more about the masterpiece that is WordGirl before remembering what they were saying in the first place.

"Oh yeah! As I was saying, thanks man." (Y/n) smiled, tossing the cookie in their mouth.

"It's really no problem. We're besties! Besties care for each other." Emile smiled, eating his half. (Y/n)'s face lit up into a beaming grin as they took a sip of their hot chocolate. They promptly spit it back into the cup and started fanning their face.

"FUCK, THAT'S HOT! HOT, HOT, FUCK- PICANI, STOP LAUGHING!"

(1197 words)

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(Skip to 11:36)

Picani's dance from my favorite game ever for the 3ds 😤😤😤

We stan fossil fuckers

"Fossil Fuckers" -my lovely editor

Also can you tell who those lovely babes in the starbucks were

Can you tell I love them

I fucking hope so

Anyways love yall'll

🌌🌌🌌