Letters From Above

Chapter 5: Bittersweet Memories

I had walked out of the room for the ceremony yet again, only this time, I wasn't going to the bathroom. I had to find Chester.

I glanced in his office, main hall, waiting room, kitchen, he was no where. Tears started streaming down my face as I started panicking about having to give a speech about my parents when I couldn't hardly get a sentence out to Kenz.

I pushed through the vast, beautiful brass doors to try and get some fresh air.

"Miss Freeman? Where are you going?"

"Chester! I was looking for y-you. I c-can't do it. I can't give the speech. I j-just can't!"

"I expected that. You're way too young to have to go through something like this. It's brave of you to even put on a smile."

I really appreciated his words. I nodded with a smile and walked off, not knowing what to say. I headed back to the ceremony room, tear stained cheeks and all, and sat down.

"We're here today for the terrible fate of Clarissa and Trent Freeman. They were successful business partners, loving people adored by the community, and amazing parents to their daughter, Lacey. Many of you know them from high school. Many of you know them from business. Many of you were their friend. Most may say they had gone too quick and early. They still had a life ahead of them. They had unfinished business. However, we could sit here and be upset, or we could take a look at the memories they have given us. The happiness and joy they have brought to us, and lastly, the love they have spread."

I can't do this. I have tried my best to keep my smile and the tears to the minimum, but I can't anymore. I let the tears stream down my face. They're falling so fast, they would put some waterfalls to shame. I tried best not to focus on the memories Chester was reading out, too scared I would flood the place with my tears.

"I want to thank you all for coming and we will be heading to the cemetery after. However, there will be a dinner served at the dining hall on the square after we go to the cemetery. I look forward to seeing each and every one of you there." Chester said.

I stood up (along with Kenz, Kurt, and my Grandmother) and drug myself, slowly, to the casket. Chester started dismissing people one by one to come up, say there farewells, apologies, to show their empathy, and head out the doors.

"Lacey! We're so sorry. If you need anything at all, please contact me," Mrs. Mason said, standing with her family.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," I said.

I still had tears strolling down my face. It seemed like an endless amount of people were coming up. They had had the exact same thing to say 'I'm sorry' or 'Sorry for your loss'. I looked down at the floor, fiddling with my hands.

"Hey Lacey. Take it easy," Kellan said as he walked up to me and hugged me, his parents smiling behind him.

"Lacey, dear! I know this is a terrible time to introduce someone, but this is my son, Nash. We will be very close by within the next the couple months. If you need something, all you have to do is call me. I'll send him to yours occasionally to check up on you or bring some treats!" Jean said.

I looked up and saw the "mom of the company". Her son was actually pleasant to the eye; light blonde hair and dark blue eyes. "Thank you so much!" I said, trying to crack a smile but I was unsuccessful.

There were still many more people coming up to me. I've never even seen most of these people before. I found it creepy, yet I was proud that so many people came to pay their respect to my parents.

I was the last one to leave the building. The people that weren't heading to the cemetery had already left and the ones that were going out to the cemetery were already in their cars. Only me, Kenz, Kurt, my grandma, and other close friends and immediate family will be going to the cemetery for the burial.

Again, Kurt was driving. The cemetery wasn't too far from the funeral but it felt like it took a lifetime to get there. I could the closes gray and navy blue casket in the back of the hearse. Before the burial when I'm putting flowers on their casket, that will be the last time I'll be within three feet of them.

I began to weep. Not just the silent kind where your crying but the kind that makes your whole body shake. It mentally an physically drains me. Kenz put her arm around me and comforted me for the rest of the drive.

At the cemetery, they had the metal folding chairs with really soft covers to go over them. Despite the softness, they were still uncomfortable. I tuned Chester out once again and focused on the casket until I zoned back in and we were standing up to go take one of the flowers to take back home.

No one stayed for when my parents were lowered into the ground. I was relieved, I didn't want anyone else to see me breaking down. As my parents were lowered deeper into the ground, I could feel like they were slipping away. I bent down on my knees and tried to stay as close to them as I could. They're gone and I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that.

               ***

There are so many more people at the dinner than what I thought there were going to be. This is going to be such a tremendous night, spending time with people that I don't know talking about memories with my dead parents. Memories, I loathe that word; because that's all I have left of my parents.

"Oh this one time back in high school, before Trent moved into town, Clarissa wanted to sneak out and go egg this girls car. I told her no and boy I'll never forget the nastiest look that woman gave me. So, she went and I stayed home. I got a call from the police department at three o'clock in the morning. It was Clarissa. She said I got caught can you please come get me out an sont tell my mom. I remember thinking she'll find out anyway but I went ahead and bailed her out. She was the wildest woman I think I've ever met," Maggie said, my mom's best friend. I smiled a little, my mom had told me that before. Many more people talked and told stories, all of which were happy. My grandma told most of them.

"Oh yes. She was always getting into trouble," my grandma said, laughing at the story. "I remember thanking the Good Lord up above so many times for bringing Trent into her life. I remember when he had first transferred schools. Clarissa came home stopping through the house yelling 'MOM! THIS BOY AT SCHOOL THINKS HES BADASS!' I turned in my chair and said what'd you just say? Her face turned white and she said the new boy is so annoying and cute but more annoying. I said oh honey which is it? Cute or annoying? She gave me the meanest face an I couldn't help but to laugh. Then, a few years later they graduated and went to college for business. They had a dream and they weren't too sure it would come true but they never gave up. After failing, several times, it succeeded. The Freeman Insurance Firm was going great. They had Lacey," she paused to look at me and grin, "which was the best thing they ever did. Soon after Lacey was born Clarissa called me and said mom we're expanding. But can you keep Lacey for a week so we can go set up an agreement is what she called it. I laughed but I was excited to know their dream was getting bigger. I'm glad they got to raise Lacey and live their dream to the best of their ability. So before we start to leave and go home I would like to tell each and every one of you to chase your dreams because one day you won't be able to anymore."

***
I insisted on helping clean, but the dining hall people forced us to leave. I smiled back on all the memories people shared, especially of their story that my grandma shared. It was so sweet and heartbreaking. Now all I needed was to go home and sleep. I am exhausted.

Kenz was staying the night with me and my grandma, but Kurt went home. Again, I tuned everyone and everything out and went to my parents room and slept.