Circles

Chapter Two

“No no no no no no no!” I say quietly to myself as I watch my suitcase fall off my bed and knock over a lamp.

            “Alex?” my dad asks, half asleep. “What are you doing?”

            Tomorrow is the ceremony where I’ll leave my family to join a Circle. I’ve been packing little by little when my parents aren’t around, mainly because of how sad my mom is about me leaving. I guess I thought if she saw me packing it would make her even more upset. I thought I would take my chances and try to finish up while they were sleeping.

            That worked out real well.

            “Nothing, dad. Just finishing up some packing. Go back to sleep,” I say. 

            “That’s okay, I’m up now,” he says as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. “Did you get all of your packing done?”

            “Just about,” I answer, unable to hide the sadness in my voice.

            “Hey. It’s okay,” my dad says, putting an arm around me. “You’re going to miss us. We’re certainly going to miss you. But let’s try to push the sadness to tomorrow. I want you to enjoy your last day here, and somehow I don’t think you, me, and your mom crying in balls of the floor would be much fun,” he says with a smile. I smile back.

            “Okay,” I say.

        After breakfast, mom suggests we play cards. I’ve always loved card games, so I agree right away.

            People don’t typically leave their houses, other than to buy things like clothes and groceries. Since we can’t interact with other Circles, the government didn’t see much point in creating places where we can go for recreation. We just do things at home with each other.

            After a couple hours of card games, we all went outside so the kids could run around and the adults could talk and get some fresh air. I was somewhere in between, so I sat on the porch steps and watched some of the kids chase each other around for a while. Bill’s daughter, Jodi comes over and sits next to me once she’s tired out.

            “Hi, Alex,” she says sweetly.

            ‘Hey, Jodi. What’s up?”

            “Nothing much. Are you sad?” she asks.

            “Sad about what?”

            “Leaving us tomorrow.”

            “Oh,” I say quietly. “Absolutely.”

            “I’m sad too. I don’t want you to go,” she whispers as if she’s telling me a secret.

            “I’m sorry, Jodi,” I say.

            “Can you ask your mom if you can stay?” she asks.

            “It doesn’t really work like that.”

            “Could I go with you? I bet I could fit in your suitcase!” says Jodi, curling up into a ball to show me that she was small enough.

            I laugh. “No, you can’t. I’m sorry.”

            She sighs. “Okay. I’ll miss you a lot.”

            “I’ll miss you too,” I say.

            Jodi was always like the little sister I never had. I really would miss her. I wish I could watch her grow up. I can’t help but think that this is what my parents must be feeling about me leaving, but much worse. It’s awful.

            I volunteered to make dinner tonight one last time. I was in the kitchen slicing a cucumber for the salad when my mom came in.

            “Do you need any help?" 

            “That’s okay, mom, I got it,” I say.

            “Okay,” she says, then pauses. “Are you all set with what you’re going to wear tomorrow?”

            I hadn’t thought about it at all, though I probably should have. “No, I completely forgot. Want to help me decide?”

            “Better yet, how about we go buy a new dress?” she says.

            “That would be great!” I answer with a smile.

            “Okay,” she says. “We’ll go after dinner.”

            I go back to slicing, grateful to be able to spend some time with my mom without her being too sad.

            When the bus gets to our house, we get on and mom tells the driver where we want to go before we take our seats.

            As the bus pulls away from the house, mom opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but stops, changing her mind.

            “What?” I ask.

            “Oh, nothing,” she says. “I was just thinking about when I brought you here with me last. You were five.”

            “Oh? I don’t remember that,” I say.

            “I had to get a dress for Joan and Harry’s wedding,” she starts.

            Joan and Harry are a couple in my parent’s Circle, and Joan is my mom’s best friend.

            “I brought you along because I didn’t want to go alone. I had you wait on a bench outside the dressing rooms while I went to try something on, and when I came out, you weren’t there!” she says, mock panic in her voice.

            “Where was I?” I ask.

            “Well,” she says. “The next thing I knew, you were coming out of a dressing room wearing a red gown that was about ten sizes too big for you,” she says, giggling.

            I laugh. “You must’ve been so proud,” I say sarcastically.

            “Actually, I was. You made me try on the same dress, and I loved it. I bought it and wore it to the wedding!” she answers, smiling.

            I smile back as we pull up to the dress shop.

            After trying on dress after dress, I haven’t really found one I like. Finally I see a simple little sundress and try it on. It’s black and fitted with a flowing skirt. There are bits of silver in the stitching. It’s stunning. I walk out so my mom can see.

            “Oh, Alex. It’s beautiful, I love it. Is that the one you want?”

            “I think so,” I answer, a big smile on my face.

            When we get home, it’s time for bed. I say goodnight to my parents, and fall asleep in my bed for the last time.