A Suitable Companion

Chapter 8: Backlash

Charles mentioning of Rebecca has made me curious of her. There are no photos around in the house that I have seen and so far, she has not made a visit when I'm there. I cannot resist asking Hutchins when we one day have afternoon tea in the kitchen, this time without Charles.

"Charles mentioned he has a girlfriend."

"Rebecca, yes..."

The tone of her voice indicates she may not be a fan of Rebecca, which encourages me to dig deeper.

"What is she like? I mean, I just find it a bit odd that I haven't seen her around in the weeks I've worked here."

"Ah, she comes here sometimes in the evenings, but if you ask me it would be just as good if she didn't bother. Or better."

"Why?"

"She's not there for him, not in any sense that matters. In her world, all was good as long as he was this handsome successful officer, headed for a splendid military career, progressing to major and so on - with her by his side, naturally. His injuries, and maybe even worse from her perspective, him not being able to be social like he used to, it's difficult for her to handle. I think she thinks that it's not what she signed up for. She comes here more and more seldom, and from what I can tell it hardly raises his spirits."

My hand is resting on the table surface and surprisingly, she puts her hand over it, saying:

"I'm glad he has you Molly."

"I'm just employed to be here, remember" I say a bit embarrassed.

"I know, but you are still doing so much more for him than she is. He needs you."

My cheeks are blushing but I cannot pretend that her words do not make me proud and happy.

-O-

I do not notice at first. Maybe because the worsening comes gradually, maybe because I was a little too caught up in the bubble of happiness of him getting better, seemingly both physically and mentally, so I did not want to see the signs. In retrospect I curse myself for not paying better attention. Not that I know for sure if it would have made any difference but maybe we could have pulled the break and reversed it before it got so bad.

Over a few weeks, he gradually becomes more silent again and more often prefers to be alone. There are days when I suspect he has skipped exercising when we are at home. The Headley Court sessions would be more difficult to escape because I would notice at once, but he seems more reluctant to go there. He begins to look more tired, with dark circles under his eyes and when I ask he just mumbles he had a bad night. And there is something in his gaze sometimes, like a transient flicker of panic but it is nothing concrete, nothing I can ask him about and if I had, I probably would not have gotten an answer. Slowly I realise something is not quite right. I worry increasingly, but I do not know what to do. He is not shutting me out completely, like in the beginning, but he is not inviting me in either.

-O-

Then comes an afternoon when I meet Rebecca for the first time. Charles is upstairs and I'm loitering in the library when there is a call on the front door. I know Hutchins I busy preparing dinner, so I make myself useful opening the door in her place. There stands this perfect woman, as if she just had stepped out of a magazine. Not Hello, but rather one of those with a cover featuring upper class people, cheerfully seated on a horseback in spotless outfit while simultaneously drinking a cup of tea with an autumn leafy estate in the background, or pictured inside their perfect home, surrounded by their perfect family, all with plastic white smiles pasted on their aristocratic faces. She is tall and thin like a model. She has long, straight and shiny blonde hair, the kind you expect to hear a swoosh sound effect from when she moves. Her face is a very beautiful but cold. She can compete with Charles when it comes to having high cheekbones and her whole face is quite sharp with pale smooth skin, but she has a pair of pouty pink lips that softens the overall impression. And her eyes. They are large, framed by long eyelashes, which I do not doubt she uses frequently to dupe men, and the colour of the large iris is icy blue. From the moment I see her, she is the Ice Queen to me and I'm seriously wondering if I would turn to ice if I reached out a finger to touch her.