A Suitable Companion

Chapter 20: Charles

She is lying beside me, asleep. I have caught her watching me when I'm sleeping, but now it is my turn and I relish the moment. Her long dark hair is tousled, and I get the impulse to untangle it for her, but I'm afraid I would wake her up, so I do not. Her long eyelashes flicker slightly against her cheeks when she is dreaming, and there is a faint smile on her lips, so I think she might be dreaming something good. Maybe about us, this new, magical entity. I have never loved being with someone this much. She asked me earlier when I knew that I wanted this, and I told her the truth; that even if it was not a conscious thought, I knew I did not want to let her go from the first time I saw her. But in my wildest dreams I could not have imagined that it would end up in something as wonderful as this.

"The next applicant is a Ms. Molly Dawes." Saunders announces.

I'm wondering if this parade of wankers will end anytime soon because it is insufferable. I cannot stand them, one probably more competent that the other but I hate when they look at me with understanding, pitying eyes. Like they could ever understand what it is like to be me. I'm not meant to be here, locked up like some freak, unable to walk. I'm rather meant to be walking, running, on strong legs through the terrain in some godforsaken shithole, commanding my men. This in undignified, frustrating, depressing and there is nothing I can do about it, except attending my physio and hope for a tiny sign of improvement. My patience is as stretched as it can be.

"How difficult can it be for you massive cockwombles to find a candidate who does not want to make me want to kill myself!? Is there even one I don't feel like lobbing out of here at the bare sight of them?"

I do not care if the applicants outside can hear me. So, what? It's mum's stupid idea I need a companion while they go travelling. She did not want to leave but I told them to go, I will be relieved not having to see their worrying faces. It depletes me of the little energy I have.

I get a surprise when Ms. Dawes enters the room. First, she is not an old spinster like I had pictured in my mind, secondly, she enters the room giggling. Now, that is a first, but I cannot snap out of my bad mood and ask what the hell she is laughing about.

"Cockwombles, Sir."

As the conversation continues, she keeps giggling or smirking at some secret joke throughout. She is cheeky for sure and I think she is even mocking me, which both annoys me and intrigues me. But when she asks straight out if the wheelchair will be permanent there is no mockery in her voice, just a sincere question and without pity. Then, she tells me she did not mean to apply for this job, she just ended up here by accident. I feel like laughing, I feel like spending more time with her will drive me insane because she is clearly a lunatic. Yet, I also feel that spending more time with her is exactly what I want.

When she disappeared out of the door, after making sure she got the last word saying how ridiculous the job title companion was, I felt my cheeks flush with annoyance, but she was the first one in a long time to evoke something else than anger and bitterness in me. It was a such a feeling of relief to finally feel something else. And that smile, and those green eyes, that just had lit up the room. I wanted to be in her company again, had to, rather felt it than thought it. Without really making a conscious choice, I wheeled myself out in the corridor and shouted for Saunders who came hasting and told her that she was the one we should hire, her or no one else.

"But there were others who were more qualified" she said.

"Qualified for what? Bore me to death? It's her or no one, you can tell mum that if you like to, or you can run after her and give her an offer. And make it so good she cannot refuse."