(-Luke-)
I let out a long hopeless sigh. I have looked for Stacy even on those impossible places she could end up. I looked like I broke from my sanity asking for her. But eventually, she's nowhere to be found. Even on our high school friends, she wasn't even there. I don't know where to find her. I don't know where she is.
Something had suddenly crossed my mind. Michale and Calum's place was the only place I didn't search for. She might be there, but I dont assume and get my hopes up too much. The last time I had talked to Michael, I was too cranky and stupid words slipped out from my mouth.
I drove myself to their shared apartment and nervously pulled over. I pressed the doorbell, and silently waited for a couple of seconds. It was Michael who opened up, and his face was unsurprisingly neutral.
"May I help you?" He questioned flatly as he instinctively let me in. Calum was there, on the couch with his guitar. My eyes were automatically searching for her, but yet she's nowhere to be seen.
"I just wanted to ask you if, " I paused nervously.
"What?" They both said and gazed at me in unison.
"Have you seen Stacy? It had been almost four weeks since I didn't see her.." I sheepishly ask. I swallowed my pride, in as much as I know they will hate me about this. Everybody hardly knows that I'm an asshole.
Michael shook his head "No."
"Do you know where at least she is?" I hoplessly queried.
"I have no idea, really." Michael shrugged as Calum was playing nonchalant, humming a random tune while strumming his guitar. My palms were shoved in my pocket, as I was thinking what to do, but apparently, nothing was left on my head.
"Calum, I know you know where she is." I abrupted
He glanced at me for a short moment, and got back to his business "Don't ask me."
"Calum please-"
"I don't know. Just leave. We can't help you." He blurted out.
"Please, I know you're her bestfriend, and I'm pretty sure you know where she is... I just badly want to see her, and I swear i have no stupid intention" I pleaded which I really hated to do. I'm never used with pleading and begging.
"How many times do I have to tell you, that I don't know?! That I have nothing to say? I didn't even know that she left you. Well, you shouldn't question about it, it's your fault." He starts to raise his voice.
Michael cuts in "Calum stop it.. Luke, I think you should leave now."
I didn't listen as I accused "Calum, you're being selfish."
"I'm not being selfish." He scoffed as he rose to his feet.
"Not being selfish? I just needed a simple answer for fucks sake!'
I pried out "I'm not being stupid for not knowing that you took advantage of her once even when she's not yours."
"She's not yours anymore Luke, Nothing's your property anymore.. Why don't you just accept the fact that you're such an asshole ruining and hurting people's lives so they started leaving you?" He shot back as I threw my fist on his jawline.
"Shut the fuck up. You don't know everything"
"Luke what the hell!" Michael yelled pushing me away from Calum.
"Fine. I'm fucking done here. I'm leaving the band" Calum walked away, scoffing in his profanities as he slams the door chut.
"Luke, simmer down! Like you can't even control your temper. You keep on hitting people when you don't get what you want."
"How can I even calm down Michael? I'm too helpless. I have searched anywhere. It had been three days.. I just can't-"
"I'm sorry Luke, I don't think I can help you." Those ten words slapped me. It obviously proved that I'm helpless, I'm a travesty that had been inimical from the very start.
"Well, anyway man.. Thanks. Everything got dysfunctional, and I started it all. Sorry for the chaos I casued.. I guess the band is already over. Goodbye." I bitterly said as my voice trailed. I walked away hoplessly, and got inside my car.
I drove inside for a few minutes, and got back to my cold flat sombrely. The place was clouded with gloom. Haunted with the ghost of her and the memories that once was crafted here. I could hardly see her on the corners of my mind, no matter how I try to forget, but I couldn't just. I opened the fridge, and popped the can of beer open as I took a gilp letting the alcohol contain me.
I sat on the couch with a handful of moments in my head and the vivid image of her. It was a bad day, I remembered. She tried to simmer me down even how cranky I was that time. She got both of us each a can of beer as we talked to each other like there's no gap in between.
I was already intoxicated that time, and I hardly forgot what happened, but it was clear in my memory the next morning I woke up after that night that she was sorry for kissing me. But I told her, it was fine, and I kissed her back. Those were the constant moments that I didn't know I loved her.
I bursted out crying again. as I felt the familiar of ache in my heart again. If only I could make her come back, I will hold her, tight enough to make fill all the breached and the gaps between us. I definitely would.
I would do anything for her. Even if I needed to be the person I swore I never wanted to be, Even if I needed to do things I hated to, I will do it. Do it for Stacy.
"Hello Michael? What do you need?" I flatly spoke on the receiver.
"I know where Stacy is"
********
The sun was brightly shining as I safely took the road four hours ago. I wasn't exhausted, as I took my last bite of my Maccas burger. I could still hardly familiarize the road with some few infromations and guidelines from my dad.
Yes, right. I'm going at my dad's house at Doncaster, to ask money for a plane ticket. I'm pretty sure, that it wouldn't be that easy. I hate talking or seeing my dad which I don't even know why. My parents got divorced and my mom lives in Australia, where I can't get a chance to see her anymore. All the time, I was fractious and acting rebellious which my dad always hated. For sure I'll get a homily later.
I pulled over once few minutes had passed. I was standing in the doorstep in disbelief. His house painted in pastel was enormouse enough compared to the house we used to live back then. The front yard was spacious, and well appointed with pebbles, plants, and flowers well tended. with lawn gnomes and tiny little pink flamingos; It was a three storey house with huge patio windows, typical for a rich man.
I took a deep breath, and pressed the doorbell. On a few seconds, a little girl opened up It was probably his daughter I assume with his new wife and I was surprised to see a toddler behind her. The girl was the typical looking six year old kid, with rosy cheeks, and hair tied on a pigtail, with a doll on her hand.
"Daddy...?" She calls out with her smallvoixe as she told her baby brother "Lucas, stay behind my back." Thet toddler, which happens the name was closely similar to mine, bizarrely looks like me. He got my dad's features which I also have. : Blonde hair, and blue eyes.
"Ah! Luke!" My dad walks in. Technically, he looks a lot more older than before. On his suit, his hair was now chestnut, that used to be blonde and his face bears few wrinkles.
The kids cringed along the corner with eager eyes, and shy gazes. He clears his throat and taps my shoulder "We have so many things to discuss son,"
