'Pretty'

五

It felt good to be financially stable, even more so than usual. Junhoe's never known what it's felt like not to count penny to penny. He's always been scavenging the many ways to spend the least amount of money for the most outcome.

Like when he was young, about 14, he would scrounge around the trash bins and find old coupon books and deals. Saving as many of the same as he could, he'd doctor them to fix any holes that might be picked up and tada free family packs of ramen. Of course, sometimes the coupons didn't work and so, he's run out of the store and steal the ramen directly that way.

Though, these cam shows were giving Junhoe new heights. They absolutely adored him and in a way, it made his heart feel warm because he hadn't been adored in such a way before. Daesung and Seunghyun hyung may adore him, but they, more so, dote on him. They were different than these strangers who were just aroused by the sight of Junhoe's very hips and legs. His guardians viewed him as that poor 16-year-old who was bright-eyed and in love. The one that would wear the dresses, the blouses, and the makeup.

That wasn't him anymore, at least not publicly. Though, it was 'PrettyKooPrincess' because they weren't real. He was an alter ego, a character, somebody that Junhoe doesn't know, but who he can act as. Even if deep inside that had never changed and maybe he did know who that princess was because once upon a time he'd throw a fit over not being referred to as one.

Junhoe had more self-respect than that.

Enough respect to understand what he was doing was getting him money and that he needed to expand upon it. Hence why he was at the mall standing in a name brand store, browsing what's available. It was the middle of the day on a Wednesday, a little earlier than lunchtime. There was no way anyone could catch him here. At least, that was the hallow promise he kept repeating to himself to calm his insecure mind. Though, Junhoe just couldn't deny the feeling of joy when his fingers went over the rather colorful and frilly outfits, (which totally was from being excited about all the money he'd get when the viewers saw him, no other reason).

It also was quite bittersweet because this was igniting an old and dissatisfied past of what Junhoe used to do. That was before he left high school. Before when he was naive and childish, worst of all in love.

"Dresses make you so much more beautiful than you actually are. I mean look at you."

"I like dresses because they make me feel good not because I'm not already beautiful."

"Obviously, you haven't looked in the mirror."

Junhoe's fingers padded at the lively colored items of clothing in the big name brand mostly targeted at females. He used to shop here all the time. Shopping was once his favorite activity, even if they were as poor as dirt Seunghyun would take it upon himself to take Junhoe out for something he wanted, just one article of clothing every 2 weeks at the minimum. It warmed Junhoe's heart to remember, but those were old days. He was an adult now and as an adult male, he couldn't partake in dressing like a little girl (except when it involves money, a lot of money).