Black and royal blue

XIV. Don't tell anyone

'As you all know, last night, some bastard attempted to violate my property.' Nobunaga talked as if that man tried to steal something from him. But he was talking about Ana... I stared at him. Even though he sounded cold, his eyes were burning with fury. 'The fool will pay with his head for his crime.'

'The sooner I can question her, the better our chances are to catch that monster.' Said Mitsuhide with his usual matter-of-fact tone.

'Ieyasu?'

'Her maid told me she's been asleep since last night... I wouldn't go hard on her with the questioning when she wakes up, though. She is probably mentally unstable and with Mitsuhide's interrogation method she might just lose it.' He showed no signs of it but Ieyasu was worried about her too.

Mitsuhide snorted. Nobunaga chuckled. 'You are quite right. Then, you'll do the questioning, Hideyoshi!'

'Yes, my Lord!' Hideyoshi nodded. 'I still cannot comprehend what drives someone to do such horrible thing to a woman.' He was really worried.

Everyone was. I barely slept. Everytime I closed my eye, I saw her tormented look, begging for any kind of solace. I didn't know how to help her. I was useless. I failed her... Then another memory came to my focus... When I held her. She was so close. We were breathing as one... This was not how I wanted to reunite with her at all.

'Lord Masamune! Are you all right? You are remarkably quiet today?' Mitsunari looked at me with a puzzled expression.

'Hm?' I spaced out. 'Yes, I'm fine.'

'He is unusually silent indeed.' Nobunaga narrowed his eyes. 'Anyway, Masamune, you'll bring me the head of the attacker.'

'With pleasure!' It was true. I reached for my sword and felt the anger growing in me.

'Well then. Dismissed.' Nobunaga stood up and left.

I was the first one to leave after Nobunaga. A maid stopped me in the hallway. I remembered her, she was Ana's maid.

'Lord Masamune, excuse me!' She bowed. 'May I bother you for a little while?'

'Of course, what is it?'

'It is about Lady Ana...'

'Did she wake up?'

'Yes, she did. She asked me not to tell anyone, but... But I am really worried about her. She's been acting so strange. Since you are the one who found her, I thought you might understand better what is wrong with her.'

'Hm?' I raised my brows.

'She woke up late in the afternoon. I went in to ask her if she needed something. She shouted at me for calling her Lady Ana. But she apologised immiediately. She even let me prepare her bath. She usually insists on doing everything on her own and she demands me to call her just Ana as well... When the bath was ready, she basically jumped in and ordered me to leave her alone. So I went to do my duties. I checked back on her quite some time later. I heard her scream. I ran in and found her in the tub. She was desperately scrubbing her body like she was trying to clean off somekind of dirt that wasn't there. Her skin was all red and sore. She even scratched herself badly. Her eyes were wide open and staring into nothing. Her whole body was trembling. She did not notice me until I screamed at her to stop. When I pulled her out, she didn't resist. She was standing still in silence until I finished dressing her. She never lets me to do that... Something is really wrong with her.

'I see' I was very disturbed by her story. She seemed scared.

'I like Lady Ana a lot and it troubles me deeply to see her in this state. Please, do something or at least talk some sense into her!'

'I'll see her right away. But other than that, do as she asked you and keep her secret! You can go now!'

The maid bowed and walked away. I was still processing what I've just learnt. She hurt herself? I can't believe it. I headed to her room.

'Ana, may I come in?' I got no answer. I slid the door open. She was sitting by the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. She was staring at the wall. The room was dark.

'Please, leave. I don't need company.' She was almost whispering. She didn't budge when I walked closer and sat down next to her. I left a good distance between us. 'Please, leave!'

'How are you feeling today?'

'I've never been better, thank you. Can you go now?'

'Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...' I am an utter idiot. What was I expecting? I sat there in silence for a while. 'Your maid told me rather disturbing things.'

'She must have been exaggerating. She always makes a big deal out of the smallest nothing.' Her words were cold and lifeless. 'I'll ask you again. Please, leave me be!'

'I know you are lying. Can I take a look at your arm?' I tried to grab hold of her arm but she moved out of my reach.

Her eyes were fixed on the wall and she was hissing threateningly: 'That was enough. Do not dare to lay a finger on me! GO AWAY!?' She shouted.

I was worried about her but I lost my temper. I jumped to her. Holding her wrists, I dragged her to her feet. As the sleeves of the dress fell back, I could see that her porcelain skin was burning red with crimson lines all over. She struggled to free herself but I gripped her wrists tightly. My gaze moved upward. She was trembling and squirming. I let go of left hand so I could move the collar of her yukata a little. I saw fresh red lines on her collarbone too, they trailed down further. Bloody nail marks covered her chest. 'Why did you do this to yourself?' I whispered dumbfounded. The next second, I felt a flash of pain on my cheek. She slapped me. The sound echoed in the silence. I caught her wrist again and gazed down to her. When I looked into her eyes, I couldn't find the lass I knew. She immediately looked away.

'How can you look at me? Aren't you disgusted?' She was struggling with her tears.

'Ana!' Although, I still felt tingling where she hit me, it was not my cheek that hurt. I wasn't mad at her. How could I be? I would do anything to ease her pain. 'How could you say that?' When I let go of her hands she collapsed and curled up on the floor. I crouched down and put my hand on the nape of her neck.

'Let me help!' She didn't budge.

'You cannot help me... No one can... I cannot be helped...'

I realised I couldn't reach her. I stood up and walked to the door, my heart was heavy.

'Don't tell anyone.... Please!' She whispered.