WILDFIRE (mxmxm)

9| Confess To Me

Laying on my back with Allen between Travis and I as they both slept peacefully I couldn't stop my mind from racing. Since they day I nearly broke down in here with Allen, I realized for the first time that in all of my stubbornness and anger I'm genuinely scared shitless. I see Allen falling for Travis all over again and this time around it'll be love instead of friendship, and I'll still be their third. Just like old times.

I don't notice when Travis wakes up and turns towards me.

"What are you thinking about babyboy?"

"Thought that was Allen now." I said it sharp and quick before I even registered the thought. I sound like a jealous little school girl.

"Aw, is someone jealous?" Of you? Yes.

"Fuck you." I spit the words like poison on my tongue.

"Why can't we just play nice?"

"When have we ever played nice, Travis?"

"Trey."

I ignore him.

"I killed people, Sam." He said the words in a hushed tone as if it was a secret weighing heavy on him and he was terrified to let it go.

"You set an entire pack's territory on fire. No shit."

"I was eight!" There's our boy. He whisper yelled sharp and condescending. "I was manipulated and I did something terrible but I can't take that back and I won't beat myself up trying."

He turned away from me and laid on his back once more. He seems like he came up with that explanation a long time ago. The kind of conviction that only comes from telling yourself something enough times that you believe it. I didn't say anything back to him.

"I was out there on my own, Sam. I had to do some things that...it was hard okay?"

I hate how the defeat in his tone made my heart ache for him. I don't welcome it the way I welcomed the trance Allen's eyes put me under. Allen.

"Well it was hard for Allen here. It was for me. And for the rest of the pack after what you did." I knew the statement wasn't entirely fair and my wolf cursed me for being so harsh. I was so riled up with everything that my voice came out calm and even though I didn't want to go on any further I laid there on the bed and vented to Travis.

"You broke Allen and then you left and I had to be there to pick up the pieces. We weren't that close but my mom died in that fire, Travis."

"You don't think I know that, Sam? I'm twenty years old and I've spent years trying to figure out a way to make what I did right but it's not possible, Sam. I'd say I'm sorry but what the hell are those words going to do to change what—"

He started to babble and he's right. There is absolutely nothing he can do to change anything that he did as an eight year old boy. But that does not change the fact that he's here right now laying in Allen's bed with us.

"Yet you're here and you're going to take Allen back, you'll push me out again and that'll be the only thing that remains the same in this whole mess."

I don't dare take my eyes off of the beam of sunlight illuminating the ceiling above us while Travis goes silent. I really hadn't meant to give him that kind of leverage over me, knowing I was affected by him. Knowing that he had this kind of hold over me.

"Do you know the relief I felt when you kissed me, babyboy?"

The way he said it ran stubborn comfort across my skin when his soft words washed over me. Against everything in me my heart started to beat a tad more slowly yet worlds more loudly. I never considered that Travis was capable of caring for me, even as pups.