This World We Live In

Part Four

Once Chuck zapped us back to America, we all piled into Baby. Jack struggled with the seatbelt.

"Just leave it. Not like you'll need it anyway," I muttered.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Nothing. So good ol' Chuckie filled you in on what we're doing?" I said.

"Um...not exactly. I mean, I know you guys are looking for Lucifer? And you want to kill the bad guy, Chaos, but I don't really understand how I can help with that," he replied. I glance at Chuck through the mirror.

"Care to explain?" I asked him.

"You are very powerful, Jack. Your father—"

"My father?" Jack interrupted. "I've been looking for him. Have you seen him?"

"Um, Jack, your dad, Lucifer, isn't really—"

"No, no that's not right. My dad isn't Lucifer. My dad is Castiel. I remember his voice, promising to keep me safe. I need to find him," Jack said, cutting Sam off. At the mention of Cas, I froze. My heartbeat sped up and my palms started to sweat. What the hell was happening to me? I swallowed.

"Oh, Jack. Castiel is, well...." Sam trailed off.

"He's dead," I finished. My throat dried up at those words. I took a swig of the beer in the dash and gripped the steering wheel tighter. I avoided Sam's gaze in the mirror, staring hard at the road ahead. Jack was silent for several minutes.

"Well, you can bring him back, can't you?" he finally said. It was definitely the wrong thing to say. I felt hot tears sting my eyes. Oh no. Not now. I swung the car off the highway, screeching to a halt. I shoved the door open hard and started walking away from the road. The tears were streaming freely down my face now, sobs shaking my body. I couldn't control it. What a horrible feeling. I couldn't let Sam see me like this. I was supposed to be the strong one.

Once I was out of sight and earshot of the car, I sank to my knees and shouted, anger tearing out of my chest. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He wasn't supposed to die. I yelled and sobbed until it was all out of my system and then I sat on the dirt and watched the sun sink below the horizon.

"Dean." There was a voice behind me. I didn't say anything as Gabriel sat beside me. "I'm in love with Sam," he said. I looked at him.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Or are you looking for my blessing," I snapped rudely.

"Neither. I'm just letting you know that I know how you feel," he replied.

"I'm not in love with Cas, that's ridiculous," I said. Gabe turned so his body was facing me.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel something for Cas. Something more than friendship. I mean, he said it himself. You guys do share a more profound bond," he stated. I gazed into his golden eyes and opened my mouth to deny it, but no words formed. I looked away, clamping my mouth shut, and stood, brushing dirt off my jeans.

"Fine. You can keep denying it. But everyone knows it, even if you don't," Gabe said and followed me back to the Impala. When we got there, I stepped into the driver's seat. No one spoke.

"So where are we going?" I asked suddenly.

"Actually, right here is fine," Chuck said.