It's Not The First Time

♈Part Eight - He's Broken Me, Finally♈

♍-♍-♍

My heartbeats matched the theme tune of batman, the cartoon one. My ears were ringing; dull but annoying. I could taste my own fear.

Back when Jake was alive, my family was amazing. I longed for the days where I'd wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and just climb into mom's and dad's big cushiony bed, and when we woke up in the morning; we'd have this massive pillow fight. Jake came in later with the teddy bear missiles.

So, when Jake died it was no surprise my parents turned to alcohol and drugs to lessen the pain. I just wished they weren't abusive. I could take the drunken slurs and the nasty smell of weed, but not the punches and kicks, or the snarling and spitting of cruel words.

I smiled softly. If this was my punishment for letting Jake die, then I'd take it all without a fight. Even if the punishment was increased by a tenfold.

Currently, I was waiting on my porch with my hand on the cold-to-the-touch handle. My dad never locks the door and I don't have a key to lock it in the morning anyway.

I closed my eyes, painting Jake in my mind. Indigo eyes with little tiny specks of green, silky blond hair that never failed to fall in his face, cheeky lopsided smile he would keep on his lips, pale skin that seemed to glow when the sun shone.

Right now, he was egging me on to just walk in and accept my punishment. Accept the punishment I receive because I let him die that day. I killed him, and this is the price I pay.

So I did.

My fear somehow dissipated when I walked straight into the living room, passing the dirty floor and peeling wallpaper, straight to Dad. He was sober this time, knowing he made a mistake by drinking too much last night and letting me slip through his fingers.

"You're not getting away this time, Aurora."

I nodded mutely and calmly, closing my eyes and bracing myself for the first blow.

Throughout the pain, I kept Jake's laughing, giggling, smiling face in my head, picturing him as if he was still alive. If I hadn't of let him die.

I didn't make a sound.

I climbed the stairs somehow, it was all just a blur to me. The pain was agony. White hot pain seared my senses, overloading my brain with shockwaves of distress.

Dad didn't disappoint, instead gloated inwardly about his success of finally breaking me. I was broke, and not even the thought of my first and possibly last love, Adrian, could help me this time.

I was put into that same trance when I located the knife but instead of staying in the bathroom; I limped into my bedroom, barricading the door slowly. Carrying myself like a little girl would hold a dear china doll.

I sent a quick text message to Adrian, explaining to him why I was going to do what I was doing right now.

Almost to the point of crawling to my crumpled bed, I curled into my side and sliced my wrists after I took the bandages off. I pressed harder and harder against my damaged skin, cutting deeply into my veins.

This was the first time I was viscious to spread my blood.

This was the first time I had the intention to kill myself.

This was the first time I ever tried to kill myself.

To spare me the pain of abuse. To release myself into the whirlpooling abyss of hell. I gave into the darkness.

♍-♍-♍

[♈Adrian's Point of View♈]

I listened to the tv in my room, only half paying attention to the film that was playing. It was basically background music so the house didn't sound as empty as it was. Normally, I would actually watch the tv but I had a history assignment with my partner except he was the typical jock and paid me about twenty five bucks to put his name on the top.

Naturally, I took the money but I had no intention of putting his name on my hardwork. Easy money, Adrian, easy money.

My mind wondered to Aurora, and if she was alright. I wanted so badly to just barge in her house and rescue her, you know, be the hero for once. Instead, I listen to the words that come out of her mouth and regretfully promise her that I'll do as she says. I'm at such a crossroad.

She's hurt so much, and I have no idea how to handle her baggage but I'm in love with her, and I'm willing to help carry her luggage. Aurora's worth it all, her big bluey-purple eyes with green flecks and long black hair. All of it.

Every single bit.

I'm in love with my best friend and the best feeling in the world is when they return that love-struck smile you thought was only drawn on your own lips.

My phone pinged, signalling a text. Me, being me, was curious enough to dump my homework off my lap and stretch before reaching for that small square device that holds my entire social life.

1 message from Rora'Love.

I bet you all can guess who that is, right? You know, speak of the devil and he shall appear and that stuff. Except in my situation it would be a she-devil. No, no, no, infact it would be an angel. My fallen angel.

Whipped! my ripped-to-shreds ego sang to me and I frowned, pouting a little.

Opening the text message, I read the words and paled drastically.

I'm sorry, Adrian. I can't pretend everything is alright anymore. I've given up. My dad has finally broken me. I love you, Dri, but please just forget about me. God, I love you so much, but my choice is made. -Aurora

♍-♍-♍

Short but I love this part so much. It's nice like this.

By the way, the story isn't finished at all.