It's Not The First Time

♈Part Nine - Did I Ruin My Relationship?♈

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I couldn't breathe. My lungs were failing to absorb oxygen. I gasped, but my limbs stayed still. Everything was numb. "Aurora!?" someone gasped, and then my senses started to work.

Everything wasn't numb anymore, everything hurt. I moaned in pain, my eyes refusing to open. They felt glued shut. What the hell happened? Did I get run over by a lorry or something?

"Aurora," someone else asked calmly, and I replied with a groan. "Please open your eyes, Aurora."

I struggled to obey the command, my eyes refusing to do as I say. I wanted to lift my arm up and pull my eyelids open by hand but I couldn't move my body. It was like I was drugged and sluggish, but paralysed too.

Fighting the battle, I finally got my eyes to open. Then abruptly shut them once I was blinded by a strong, white light. Ahh, that hurt badly. I continued trying though, and I kept my eyes open somehow.

A familiar face came into view. "Good girl, Aurora, now do you know who I am?"

I tried my moving my head up and down in a nod but I only managed a chin wobble. I licked my chapped lips, trying to speak. I coughed immediately. The doctor that always treated my injuries, Dr. Morgan, handed me a cup of water, and fed me since I couldn't do it myself. I gulped most of it down.

"What ha-?" I asked, my thirst satiated but my throat sore.

"-AURORA!" A very familiar voice called, and I looked to my right to see a very sluggish looking Adrian; his blond hair was tousled badly, as if he had ran his fingers through it many times, and his handsome boyish face seemed relieved. "God, you scared me."

I pulled a confused face.

Doctor Morgan looked at him sternly to make him shut up, and then at me. "You have some explaining to do, young lady."

I frowned. "What happened?"

"Uhh, is it normal for patients to do this?" Adrian asked worriedly, glancing at me with a look of concern.

My frown deepened. "What do you mean?" I asked, suspisciously. I tried moving my right arm to push my hair back out of my face but sudden pain made me cry out.

I looked down at the inside of my bandaged wrists, the wires pumping blood in my hand and suddenly it all came back.

Dad. Jake. Knife. Blood.

Too much blood.

Jake.

"No." I whimpered. "No. No. No. Oh, god. Jake."

I started to cry, the tears rolling down my cheeks and dropping onto the patient gown I was wearing. "Why did you save me?" I croaked, grief pouring through my rough voice.

"You wanted to die?" the doctor asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes." I answered, crying harder, sobs racking my body.

"Yes?" Adrian echoed disbelievingly. "No, you can't say that. You have everything to live for."

I shook my head. "I have n-nothing, Adrian. Jake's dead; been d-dead for a long time and it was all my fault. Mom and d-dad are-" I cut myself off, sobbing harder.

"Doctor, can we have a minute?" Adrian asked, pleading. "I'll call you if something happens." he added.

Dr. Morgan nodded, leaving the room quietly as he witnessed the start of my breakdown. Adrian stood up, pacing. "What did your dad do? What did he do to make you give up?" he asked, rage burning a fire in his eyes. "How did he make you lose hope?"

I sobbed, "Nothing n-new. He did n-nothing differe-ent. It was me. I've given up."

"Why?" he asked, brow furrowed in surprise.

"I can't do this, a-anymore. I can't keep thi-thinking its all going to get better."

"Yes you can, Aurora. You can do it." Adrian pushed, not willing to let me give up.

"I can't, n-not anymore. I killed my b-brother." The words left a bitter taste on my tongue but then again, truth hurts. "I can't live with this p-pain."

"Please." Adrian begged softly, pleading me with his beautiful brown eyes. "I love you too much to see you give up."

"And I love you too, b-but it's not enough. It's n-never enough. Nothing is enough."

Adrian shook his head sadly, "Sometimes you don't see what's right in front of you. Most times I feel like killing your father. I want to be the person that helps all the time." He sighed. "I wish you'd see the truth."

"What-t truth?" I asked, "See what?"

"You're almost eighteen." He pointed out quietly, looking at the floor.

"And?" I struggled to understand what he was trying to say. And what? I know that I'm almost eighteen.

"Legally you're allowed to leave that house when you turn eighteen."

I frowned. "You think he's going to give me up that easily? I've already gone through this for loopholes, Dri." Somehow, my sobs have stopped through this conversation, but the years don't stop flowing down my bruised cheek.

"There has to be a way." I could tell he was getting frustrated. Hell, even inanimate objects could.

I sighed silently, scratching at my wrists inconspicuously. They were really itchy, and stung like a motherfucker. "There isn't one. Give up."

"That right there is your problem." Adrian suddenly snapped, angrily pointing at me with a glare. "You give up too easily."

I shrunk back, hurt he'd shout at me. In my entire life I had never seen Adrian so emotionally screwed when it came to me, yes I'd seen him angry bu not directed at me.

It was scary.

He gave me one last glare and then stormed out, throwing a few words over his shoulder. "I'm going home, phone me when you need a ride. There's a few of your jeans and tops in the corner."

I started sobbing again, wondering if I ruined my very first relationship as well as the plan to kill myself. This is why I hate myself.

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