Poesy

revenge

"This is kind of morbid, don't you think?" I ask Jude, gesturing to the aquarium only a few feet from our table.

I lift the boiled crab from my plate and wave its claw to the live ones in the tank. "Farewell," I whisper.

"Well, now it is," he answers, with a shake of his head. "Annika must be rubbing off on you."

"I think any person with a conscience would feel a little messed up eating something while it's friggin family watches," I say, flapping the crab's arms around like it's talking for me.

He rolls his eyes and dips some of the crab meat into a boat of melted butter. I'm not being creative here, it's literally a tiny boat. The whole place is decked out in nautical nightmares. I dare say, it's even cheesier than Becky's. I don't have the heart to tell that to Jude though because he's told me like ten times now that this is his favorite restaurant.

He'd better not take Annika here. Which, reminds me, it's time to get down to business. For some reason, I find it hilarious that I just thought the word business while Jude has a plastic Undada Sea bib tied around his neck. I was too embarrassed to wear mine so I tied it around my head like a bandana instead.

"How's it going with Annibanani?"

"Who?" He asks.

"Annika. You know, the girl who's supposed to be in love with you by now."

"Fine," he answers, nonchalantly and I shoot him a look. Then he corrects himself. "Good. I don't know. What do you want me to say? It's been like two weeks."

I take a sip of my iced tea and heave a sigh. The dead crab on my plate is staring at me. This is why I don't eat seafood. For whatever reason, it's pretty much the only meat that people serve still looking like the animal it once was. I mean, seriously. You want octopus? Here, eight perfectly formed tentacles for you to munch on. And it takes way too much work for too little reward. I mean, have you ever had to fight through the protective shell of a burger?

"Unlike this meal," I say. "Annika is a simple creature to crack. All you gotta do is bat those massive eyelashes at 'er. Seriously, what do those things weigh?"

I reach over to touch one of his lashes and he bats my hand away at the last second. He slides my plate over to his side of the table and begins dismembering the poor guy. Or gal, I'm not trying to assume it's gender. Although I think at this point, it has other problems.

"You make it look so easy," I say.

He half smiles and slides the plate back to me, the meat now fully accessible.

"I could say the same," he says. "Y'know... with Annika. I told you before; I've never had a girlfriend. I don't even talk to girls. Well... besides you."

I think about this for a moment while I finally take some bites of my meal. Jude never seems to have any problem talking to me. It's always fun and easy. I suppose that's because there is no need for him to impress me. Perhaps, I have been putting way too much pressure on him.

"Maybe... you should just hang out with her like you do with me," I suggest.

He leans over the table, his face a sort of serious that I don't usually see. "Or maybe... you just picked the wrong guy for your plan, Poesy."

I want to tell him that he's wrong but the words are caught in my throat. No, they actually are. My lips are itching like crazy. Jude's eyes are bugging out and I think he asks me if I'm okay, but I can't hear him over the crabs in the tank laughing at me.

...

The doctors insist that it was a "severe allergic reaction" but I saw the look in that crab's eyes.

This. Was. Revenge.

I spent the rest of Thursday night and most of today in the ER. Apparently, my rockstar dad forgot to mention the real reason why we don't eat seafood in our house. Good goin' daddio.

When he pulls his truck into the parking lot, Annika's car is already there. My dad wouldn't let her come to the hospital. I guess he knew just as well as I did, that her ranting about me eating shellfish wasn't going to change the fact that my face looked like a hotdog ballon. If I was dying, I am certain that her last words to me would have been, "Shoulda gone vegan."

She wraps me in a hug and then pulls back to take a look at me.

"Dang, Kylie Jenner," she exclaims.

The doctor said it might take a couple days for the swelling in my lips to go down completely. The concert is tomorrow and it will be only the second time that I see Mika. If this was anyone else's life, this might seem like a cruel joke. But, since I am me, things seem to be going pretty well actually.

When we get up to my room, I lower myself onto my bed and Annika plops down next to me.

"So, why were you at Undada Sea with Jude?" she inquires. Her tone is more curious than accusatory but I still tense.

I figured that Annika would be on about the seafood and asking about hot doctors. I hadn't been prepared for this question. Why would I be out to dinner with Jude on a Thursday night? For all Annika knows, the only reason we have been hanging out with Jude is that he has a crush on her.

I exaggerate my exhaustion by letting out a long yawn. I'm stalling, of course. If I lie to her right now, she's going to know. If she decides to ask any more questions, I am at risk of coming clean with everything.

Once in the sophomore year, her mom planned this whole big surprise sweet sixteen party. I promised to keep her secret, but with every detail her mother told me about, I felt the confetti filling me from my toes up. All it took was one suspicious look from Annika for me to spill my guts like a piñata.

Her mother still hasn't forgiven me.

Or, maybe she just doesn't like me because I call her four Chinese Crested dogs, " the gaggle of hideous trolls".

I finally decide to pretend like I didn't hear her and change the subject to one that I think will make her forget all about my secret meeting with Jude.

"Do you know what you're going to wear tomorrow?" I ask her.

"Duh," she says. "I've had my dress picked out the moment you said you got tickets."

She rolls over, our faces only inches apart and I can tell by the look in her big, stupid, brown eyes that she isn't  going to let me off easy.

"I know you don't give a shit about my dress, Poe. So tell me... what are you and Jude up to?"