Rough Draft

Rhythm of My Heart

It had been an awful day at work. Mr. Pesto was crankier than ever now that the twins had been gone and his customer based had dropped now that Bob's was doing so well.

Zeke looked up from the table he was wiping down. The sun beat on his black shirt, making his back sweaty. Tina was in the building, smiling at a customer over the bar as she popped the cap off a beer and placed it next to his plate. Zeke felt jealousy burn in his gut as he busied himself back with the table.

I don't have the right to be jealous. He reminded himself again. She's not my girlfriend. I've dated plenty other girls. She's not my...

His gaze had wandered back up. She was still thick in all the right places but it was obvious she'd been toning up. Her legs were muscular and sometimes he thought of the way it would feel to dig his fingers into the meat of her thighs. She was soft too still, around her waist and chest. Her arms still jiggled a little when she moved them. Her hair had grown out to her shoulders and she'd traded her glasses for contacts, but she was still Tina. The same awkward, gangling, hormone driven Tina he'd always known.

He realize suddenly, as he swept under the table, that he'd looked for signs of her everywhere. Little reflections of the girl he'd been in love with since middle school. He smiled thinking about the water balloon fight at Mr. Fischoeder's estate. Tacos, Touch tank, Tacos and drinks. He smiled at his younger self. Hell, that'd be the perfect date for them even now. He looked back up, barely catching Tina as she looked away. His heart tripped a little before he talked himself down, head shaking. He couldn't prove she was looking at him. It could have been coincidence since he was moving around outside. Or she'd been looking at something in his general direction.

Probably not him though. He'd thought of the girls he'd dated, the people he hung out with. If he was being honest he was trying to recreate something he wasn't aware he'd be loosing when he lost it. He always was thinking of Tina, being reminded of her.

He could see parts of her in their conversations, find her in the books she'd written. Sometimes he swore he saw himself too. He frowned, grabbing the bucket full of dirty dishes to haul back in to the dishwasher. Jimmy waved quickly as Zeke crossed the floor before turning back to his customers with a smile. Jay-Ju had grown too. They all had, he needed to remind himself of that. Life in middle school and high school with his friends had been the pinnacle of his life. College was a barrage of over-stimulated, self-important jocks, floozy chicks, and parties. Studying for chef classes had been a dream of his until some of the guys had found out. Zeke tsked at the memory, dumping the bucket harder than intended.

"If anything breaks, it comes out of your paycheck." Mr. Pesto warned from his desk.

Zeke rolled his eyes, "Yes sir. Sorry Mr. Pesto."

"Hey Zeke!" Jimmy poked his head through the door, "There's a group at table five asking for waters. Six. With ice and lemon."

"Sure Jay-Ju!" Zeke perked up as his friend nodded and slipped back out to the main room. His smiled slipped, "Sure."

~*~*~

He didn't bother to watch Tina walk away from him. He couldn't be bothered to try and explain the myriad of feelings that were assaulting him. The feeling of her body against his, her hand clinging to him, hung on his skin like the whisper of a scent. Damn he had it bad.

Still.

He frowned at his feet as he trudged into an easy jog.

Always. His frown deepened. His mind replayed the scene of her shining with sweat, her hair plastered to her face and neck in awkward strands. She was flushed and breathing heavily. He snapped his eyes open. He was not going down that road right now. It was not a good day at all.

The sun beat down on him, his shirt clinging as he began to sweat. The sounds of children playing and dogs barking and people laughing followed him as he made his way around the first turn. It hurt him. He wanted this. He wanted a family, he wanted diapers to change and a woman to go home to and babies to push on swings. He wanted to provide the childhood he'd never been able to have. Roots, consistency, stability. He paused to pull his shirt off when he heard feet pounding after him. What made him turn was the familiar voice gasping.

"T-Tina?" He put his shirt in his waist band. "Whatchu doin' girl? You shouldn't be running!" He hurried to her side, helping her walk to a seat.

"M-my Dad-" She gasped, "Whoo."

Zeke chuckled. "You gunna be okay?"

She shook her head, putting her face between her knees. Unconsciously Zeke rubbed her back.

"It's alright T. Just breath slow. In and out. Innn and oouut." He grinned, his hand stilled as she sat back up. "There ya go. Better?"

Her face was still as flushed as it had been, maybe more. But she was letting him touch her. Her back rippled with hidden muscle under her shirt and skin as she shifted to face him. He felt his body light on fire as her eyes dropped to his body. His stomach wasn't as toned as he would like, his still had some pooch, but his chest and arms and legs were stacks of muscle - perfect for wrestling and football. He could nearly feel her eyes as they moved over his chest, to his tattoo of Wonder Wharf. He closed his eyes for an embarrassing moment, wondering if she noticed how disproportionately larger her dad's restaurant had been drawn. He'd even added odd little mementos of all his favorite people; dancing shoes for Jay-Ju, taffy man for Louise, puzzle pieces for the twins, music notes for Gene... Note books with barely visible 'friend fiction' titles and toy horses for Tina - the only person he'd had two things tattoo'd on him for.

Her eyes drifted back to his and he felt his nerves explode in electricity. He'd always hated his own brown eyes, but hers were magical - reflecting the colors around them as though the could magically absorb their surroundings. Highlights of blue and green flecked in her deep brown eyes. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her.

He sat very still instead, not daring to twitch a muscle in his hand that was still against her back.

"Zeke-" She took a deep breath. "Let's go on a date.