good girls, bad habits ✟ camila cabello

sin 2

"Camila?"

"Move!" Camila's demanding voice echoes through the house as she pushes her way through the front door, not caring that I hadn't let her in, or that the door swinging open made me stumble back.

"Camila-" I try again, but get cut off.

"Protection at school? That's all I am to you? You have the audacity to say that?" The girl is mad-really mad. I know I didn't mean those words how they came out, but Camila seems to be taking them very literally.

"Camila-" I groan her name this time, annoyed that she won't let me talk. I am cut off again.

"And to think I have to come all this way to yell at your stupid ass. So, all the kisses, all the words, they mean nothing? Is that it?" I am getting frustrated that I can't say anything. Every time I manage to get a squeak out, Camila won't let me have it. "How else can I prove to you that I can treat you right? How else can I show you-" My turn.

"Camila!" I roar.

"What?" She howls back.

I decide words can't really express how I'm feeling right now. I don't know why but her small expression of care has made me feel some type of way-a way I have never felt before. So, instead of explaining it to her, I decide to show her.

Three-steps; that's all it takes for me to reach the brunette. As soon as I do, my hands pull her in by her neck and my lips crash into hers. I know I've taken her by surprise, but soon enough, Camila's hands are in their familiar place on my waist; under my shirt, and her lips fold into mine.

"Wait." I think we are both surprised when Camila is the one to break the kiss, but neither of us makes a move to detach from each other. "About what you said..."

"I didn't mean it. You're not just a bodyguard to me, Camila. I know I don't admit it to you... heck, I don't even admit it to myself, but you are so much more to me than that." A look passes across Camila's face, and for the first time ever I see something deeper. I see an emotion I have never seen before. I don't know what exactly it is. But it looks like... love?

That can't be.

"So, where does that leave us?" Camila voice is gentle but still dominating. She will never show she is not in control, even though sometimes she isn't.

"I don't know... I'm scared-"

"I would never hurt you," she reassures me. Camila's eyes soften and her hold on my waist becomes tighter. The grip isn't menacing though, it's gentle... affectionate.

"I know youwouldn't. I'm scared of the consequences. I know you don't see this how I do, Camila. But you need to understand, I've been brought up this way my whole life. I have believed everything-and I really do believe it. I love God and I want to be loyal to him. But you come in... you come in and you make me question everything. You come in and you make me throw away everything I have been taught and everything I have believed in since I can remember. You scare me. Not because you can hurt me... but because I can hurt myself. Because I can hurt my relationship with someone who has been there for me through everything. Because you make me feel things that are wrong... but they don't feel wrong. Camila, they don't feel wrong; they feel so damn right."

Camila's hands are no longer on my waist, they have moved to my cheeks, and she cups them so gently, looking into my eyes with so much affection.

"You're right, I don't see it how you do. I've never had a belief like that. Maybe if I did, I would be a better person. More compassionate, more open, kinder, friendlier... more loving. I don't understand it, and if you feel this strongly about something, I don't want to take that from you. But, Y/N, I'm so selfish-I've always gotten what I wanted. And I want you, I have wanted you since day one. And I will fight to have you until I can't fight anymore." I feel something inside me. Something I have never felt. It's like a part of me has been activated; switched on. It scares me, but I don't want it to go away.