Despair to Hope (completed)

Chapter 2

Club secretary was giving a brief introduction about me and my topic. It was a lecture hall that could accommodate around one hundred persons. I could see more than half of the hall empty. I wasn't surprised. Who'll be interested in such a dry topic?

Some of them should have come here just to pass time on Sunday. Some should have come because the club provides free lunch after the guest lecture. Some could have come here just to avoid facing their spouse the full day.

I was also personally not interested in giving the lecture today given the trauma Anitha was going through. As soon as we finished breakfast, Geetha went to see Anitha. I too wanted to accompany her but I felt Anitha won't talk freely to Geetha in my presence. So, I was here to deliver the lecture I had agreed earlier.

Secretary was really giving a nice introduction to spiritual Enlightenment. Judging by the facial expressions, I felt there should be at least half a dozen persons really interested in the topic. Yet, I was sceptical if they'd understand what I was going to talk. Every time I was presented with an opportunity to talk on this topic, I'd resolve to present it as simply as possible but when I started to talk...

"...now I request Mister Vignesh to deliver his talk. Sir, please, " secretary called me.

I started the talk. This time also I resolved to present my points as simple as possible. I gave my own introduction to Enlightenment. As usual, I failed to hook my audience to my talk. Who would listen to the same topic twice without any significant time gap in between?

So, I started to talk about my own struggle to take off in the spiritual journey.

"...then, one of my friends offered to initiate me and admit me into his group. That group is affiliated to a big national spiritual cult on Krishna. I happily agreed. After spending a month in his group in my spare time, I was nagged by a doubt. In fact, that doubt arose within a week I joined that group but I didn't dare to ask him then.

Now, after a month I gathered my courage to ask him. 'Have you seen Krishna?'

'No,' he said giving me a stern look.

'Do you know anyone in our group or cult who has seen Krishna?'

'No,' he said continuing his look.

I was silent for a while. And then I asked him, 'how many years you are here in this group?'

'Eighteen,' he replied, not understanding what I was up to.

I left that group that day.

If you cannot have your spiritual progress in a cult even after eighteen years, then what are you doing there? Are you just passing your time there? Is it a place for you to escape from your challenges in your family? Is it a place to escape from your challenges in your professional life? or, social life?" I looked around the hall.

More than half of the audience were busy swiping their smart phones. Almost all of the audience were affiliated to one cult or other. Who'd appreciate my questions? Even those half a dozen interested persons looked puzzled now.

So, I decided to change the track again. I started explaining the stages of Enlightenment.

"...you would have never experienced such a Field of Splendour. It is a Field that arises from within you, crosses the physical boundary of your body and extends into infinity in all directions.

It is a Field of dead silence. You would have never experienced such an absolute silence in all your life. Your mind will be completely stunned and emptied. Leave alone thoughts, even the very presence of your mind will become inconspicuous. You are forced to listen to the complete silence of this Field.

The consciousness of your soul will be completely absorbed into this Field. Your soul is stripped naked and forced to stand alone in the middle of this Field," describing the experience of Self, I surveyed the audience for their reaction.

At least a dozen were now missing. I guessed they should be busy in dining hall. And those half a dozen interested persons looked at me with pity like a joker. Everyone has his own model of Enlightenment. But nothing comes anywhere near seeing or experiencing some formless crap.

Exhausted with strategies, I wound up the talk ten minutes ahead of scheduled finishing time. Anyway I also felt a bit hungry. I was also eager to hear from Geetha what Anitha told her.

But club secretary had a plan B. He rose up from the front row with a mic in his hand and took me by surprise. He announced, "Now the question - answer session begins. Vignesh sir will answer your questions."

Immediately a person clad in red shirt seated in the middle of the hall rose up. Secretary passed the mic to him.

"Sir, are you really enlightened?" asked the red shirt.

The tone of the question carried with it hues of sarcasm and modesty. I found it difficult to judge his intention.

By now secretary rose and shouted to red shirt, "Manohar, don't ask such questions. Sit down. Pass the mic to me."

Looking at secretary, I said, "No problem, sir. I'll answer."

I really had no problem with that question. My wife doesn't believe in my spiritual advancement even today. And she is less likely to accept it in the near future. No one on this planet can insult my spiritual state any worse than my wife does. Geetha has contributed to my down to earth personality more emphatically than my enlightenment has ever done.

Meanwhile the red shirt continued, "Sir, nowadays we are often reading in the newspapers about the atrocities of persons claiming to be enlightened...so..."

The audience watched him in amusement. It was the subtitle that was really embarrassing.

"Don't worry," I began answering him lest he should fire another explanatory salvo. "Don't worry. I have no plans for an Ashram. You need not leave your profession to join me. You need not give away your wealth to me. I am doing my professional work. I am paid by my employer. That's enough to meet the expenses of my family. I don't need your money."

I continued, "And, if I do some mischievous antisocial immoral activity in the disguise of spirituality, it's my wife who will catch me first and throw me out of my house..."

It took a while for the explosive laughter from the audience to subside. The red shirt had managed to engage the audience that I couldn't during my entire lecture.

"I'm living with you. I'm working with you. I'm socializing with you... I'm transparent. So, there is absolutely no need for you to worry."

Red shirt sat down. By now about two dozen guys returned to the hall and took their seats. They should have finished their lunch. Or, they should have found the conversation a bit interesting.

I continued, looking in the direction of red shirt, "Whether I am enlightened or not - why do you bother? It is my problem. But I have my own yardstick to measure my spiritual advancement. I have my own set of benchmarks to assess the location of my soul in its journey. You need not worry about it. It will only serve to quench your curiosity."

There was pin-drop silence in the hall. Those half a dozen interested guys intently looked at me expecting what I was going to say further.

I continued. "You should worry only about one point. What I am going to contribute to you. If I am an enlightened, what benefit you can get from me? That should be your real concern."

Now the audience was completely and comprehensively hooked. I continued. "Don't expect lectures on Enlightenment from me. You can listen to a ton of them in the net. I am standing right before you. You can get much more from me in person. I can show you who you are. I can demonstrate to you your own Soul. I can internally discriminate your Soul from your body-mind to demonstrate who you really are. You can actually experience your discriminated Soul effortlessly in my presence. Instantly. This is the single largest benefit you can get from any enlightened. It is the primary goal of all the spiritual cults you belong to. Do you know that?"

Now I could see a few jaw-droppers in the audience. I was about to call the red shirt for a demo when the secretary came to me. He whispered in my ears, "Your Mrs called me. She wants you to come to Ram's house immediately."