Despair to Hope (completed)

Chapter 4

"Uncle, you promised me you'll tell me why I should be going through this," Anitha reminded me. She was wearing a pale sky blue saree. She was also a bit pale and sad yet curious to understand what was going around her.

We were sitting in a temple that was about one hour drive from Neyveli. It was my plan to take Anitha to a few temples. Geetha chose to stay with Swetha and console her. We arrived at the temple in the evening. There was a good crowd of devotees in the temple as it was Sunday.

The temple has been constructed in two sections. The upper portion has been constructed on a small hill, and the lower portion at the base of that hill. I am talking about Thiruvanthipuram Hayagriva temple.

We were sitting at an open place on the hill in the upper shrine near the place where the great preceptor Desigan meditated. Most of the devotees had gathered in the lower shrine to attend a temple religious ritual that was going on there. So, the upper shrine with its vast open space was only sparsely populated with devotees. The evening breeze was refreshing.

Anitha started the question while we were in cab on our way here. So, I told her to wait. Now she was reminding me. I was looking at the meditation place of Desigan for a while thinking where to start. Then looking back at her, "What will you say if Karthik calls you now?" I asked.

"I've blocked his number," swiftly came the reply.

Taken aback, I managed to paraphrase my question. "Okay, if he comes to Neyveli to see you?"

"The scoundrel won't come."

"Did I hear idiot?"

"You heard me. Skkoundrel..." Her face was twitched with rage. "I'll slap him with my slippers."

I was silent for a while.

"How many weeks are you hating him like this?"

"Months."

I sighed. "Your malice is responsible for the mess you are in now."

She looked straight at my eyes. "Uncle, you don't know what he did."

"This universe is not programmed to listen to your justifications."

"But...okay, let me be clear. He can do anything he wants. He can do any immoral things. He can cheat me. He can do injustice to me. He can victimize me. This universe will not punish him. But if I question him, this universe will make my life hell. Is it so, uncle?" She vented her frustration.

"I didn't say you should not react. I didn't say you should not protest. I didn't say you should not discipline him. You say what you need to, what you want to. You do what you feel you should. In response to what he said and what he did. But my point is you cannot nurse malice in your heart."

"How can I react without malice?"

"You can."

"No, uncle, it is not possible..."

"You just don't know how to."

She looked perplexed. I smiled at her.

"Uncle, I am serious. This is my life."

"I am serious too. I told you, Priya is my one eye and you are my another."

"Okay, then, tell me how to. How to react without malice."

"Tell you? Why, I'll demonstrate it to my kid."

She looked curious and perplexed. "You are going to tell me a story?"

I shook my head. "I'm going to play a game with my kid."

"What game?"

"A very simple game. You just have to close your eyes for five minutes..."

"And I have to think a number between one and ten," She sarcastically intervened.

"You need not think or chant or imagine anything. You just close your eyes for five minutes and then open. You'll understand how to, when you open your eyes."

"You'll send your answer to my brain by telepathy," she teased me.

"Hmmm... not exactly. But you can say so."

Now she looked at me with utter disbelief, but she did close her eyes.

When she opened her eyes after five minutes, her eyes were shining with confidence. She couldn't talk for a while. She was trying to recapitulate again and again what happened inside her. And then she finally asked me, "What did you send me, uncle?"