The Contract

Panic Attack

Yoongi's POV

They argued. They protested. But in the end they were driven home with an ultimatum.

She didn't look at him and when they got home locked herself in the bathroom. He didn't care how cold it was, maybe the frigid air would sooth his lungs and stomach. He stepped out onto the balcony.

How had it come to this? How had he become just a pawn? Marriage. Fatherhood. All large milestones to be celebrated. But for him they were things to be hated. They weren't sacred, just tools to be used in his uncle's game.

Sex was something he wanted, yes. Who didn't? She was very attractive to him. But not....not like this. Not for someone else. How...what a mess. All he had ever wanted was to make music. Now he was stuck in the middle of a tangled mess of manipulation.

How was she doing?

Y/N's POV

She was sitting on the floor in the bathroom. At first, she just stared at the wall. She wrapped her arms around herself. She felt vulnerable. Small. There was apparently only so much Yoongi's uncle would give in on and she had hit that limit. She wasn't valuable enough to prevent this. She was just a tool. Her body was a toy. It wasn't even hers. He had complete control over it.

What hurt the most was that similar words and thoughts had been in her life before, ones she had fought so hard to prove wrong. But here she was again, at the mercy of a man. Two men. The only reason her life didn't suck more was because Yoongi was a decent human being.

And the tears came. Before she knew it, she was sobbing into her hand. All the piled up stress and emotions hit her at once. She hated it here. She wanted to go home. Or at least be back in her country. She wanted to be free. She didn't even want to be around Yoongi-ssi, even though this wasn't his fault.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" She heard the soft knock and the hesitation in his voice made her feel even more trapped. She cried harder, unsuccessfully trying to stifle the sobs. He knocked harder. "Please let me in." It felt like everything was coming down on her. She'd never get away. She'd be trapped forever. She felt her throat close up and bit her hand, trying to quiet herself but she couldn't stop. Air, she needed air. Her sobs and gasps got worse, it felt like her neck and jaw were locked up and like all the stress would choke her. Forget being quiet, she needed to breathe.

Yoongi's POV

He banged on the door, momentarily forgetting their troubles in his worry about what was going on on the other side of that door. He heard her gasping and sobbing but she didn't unlock the door. He gripped his hair with his hands. Did he need to break it down?

"Y/N!" He pounded and then rammed his shoulder into the door. For the money he'd paid for the place he didn't think the door should've given so easily when he hit it. His manager would kill him.

Her hand was on her chest and tears were running down her cheeks while she gasped for air. "Y/N, what's wrong?" Stupid question, yes, but Yoongi needed to say something. He grabbed her hand and she squeezed it like a vice. He pulled her into him, gently rubbing her back. "Shhh, it's okay. You're okay." He whispered in English. It was a lie but he kept saying it anyway. She kept crying and he vaguely heard her say, "I can't do this" but it was hard to hear between her gasps for air and cracking voice.

He just held her.  Gradually her gasps subsided and she was breathing more calmly, although still crying. Panic attack. He'd had enough of them to know one when he saw one.

"I can't do this." She whispered, her breath catching. "I can't even have my body. Even that's been taken." More breathing. "I'm not ready to be a mom." Oh, did she think he was ready to be a father? "What if he doesn't even let us keep it..."

"Hey, hey, hey." He gently place a finger on her mouth to shush her. Her eyes were glistening with tears again.

"I can't, I don't want to, I can't." Did she think he did....? He felt his protectiveness take over still.

"I'll figure something out. We'll get through it. One thing at a time." Doubt swirled in his mind. Maybe he wasn't actually in love because all he wanted to do right now was run away.

When she was calm enough, he helped her to bed and tucked her in. He made sure to lay all the way on his side that night but couldn't sleep. His uncle brought out the worst in his self-doubt and anxiety. Did he actually have feelings for her if he felt revolted by all this? Did that mean he liked her as a person? Or did he mean he was actually revolted by...her?

He'd known they'd probably eventually sleep together, before this night. It'd seemed like they were slowly starting to head in that direction. But it wasn't something he'd concretely thought about, thinking he'd have plenty of time. He wasn't the most experienced, how were they going to do this? How was he going to do this without scarring her for life?