one night | jeongchan ☑

21

jeongin pov

today i woke up with no chan next to me. at first i thought that he just got up early or something but then i remembered that he was in the hospital. 

it has only been a week since the shooting. we have yet to find the shooter. i want to kill the guy that shot my boyfriend and my friend's boyfriend. that was a weird sentence.

i'm 3 and a half months pregnant which means i'm very emotional and needy. but chan hasn't been here and his dad and sister have had to deal with my mood swings. usually when chan is around they almost go away, but when he isn't here then you don't want to be around me.

i walked down to the kitchen this morning and ate a quick breakfast with chan's dad. then i grabbed my keys and went to my car. i drove off towards the hospital to go see chan. i know that it is a school day but i want to skip at least today. 

i got there and quickly went back to chan's room. i knocked on the door lightly and heard a faint "come in" from the other side.

i walked in and said "how are you doing today?" 

"i'm fine. what about you? you look tired? have you been getting enough sleep? are the babies making you restless?" he bombarded me with questions.

"chan. i'm fine. i'm just not used to waking up and going to sleep without you next to me." i said.

"i wish i could leave, babe. i feel fine now, i can even move my arm perfectly fine." he said and then tried to move his arm but yelped from the pain.

"see. you need to stay a little longer." i said and laughed a little before attacking chan with a passionate kiss.

"i think that we are breaking the rule of no actual dating until the 5th month." he said.

"fuck the rule. i want to be yours so bad." i said.

"i want you to be mine. so can we both agree that we are like any normal couple?" he asked.

"sure." i said with a sweet smile.

just then there was a knock on the door. chan said "come in" and the person was bambam. i wasn't expecting him to be the one to come through the door. i mean i was fine with it though.

"hey bam. finally left your bedroom?" chan asked with a smile.

bambam looked like he hadn't eaten or really moved for like a month. i mean i understand why. his best friend was killed but...he should really start taking care of himself again.

"here. don't open this for another hour. i will know if you open it." bambam said in a demanding and hoarse voice.

then he just walked right back out of the room. 

"well...that was weird." chan said and i nodded.

"what is it?" i asked.

"it's a letter." he answered.

"what does it say?" i asked.

"he said don't open it though." 

"he won't really know if you open it." 

"i guess not." he said and began to read the letter.

chan looked like he was going to either cry or yell. i couldn't tell, his emotions were kinda all over the place. I took the letter and read it myself.

it said:

"we have been through a lot together, chris. i know that i am going to miss you and you will definitely miss me. but i can't do this anymore. by the time you read this it will be too late. don't worry about yugyeom either. we decided that we both can't go on anymore. i just wanted to tell you one last time...

i love you.

-bam"

"we have to go find him." chan said.

"he might already be gone. and we have no idea where he is." i said.

"wait. i can track his phone." chan said.

"chan i don't thi-" chan cut me off.

"it is going to work." he said and a few tears fell from his eyes. i have never seen chan really cry before and it made me want to cry.

i looked over his shoulder at his phone. he was looking at bambam's location. his phone's last known location was in a...river. just down the street. we were already too late.

chan hit the call nurse button on his bed and a minute later a nurse walked in. we told her the situation and she let me go and called an ambulance out there.

I drove to the bridge above the river in the rain. i saw yugyeom standing there along with bambam. my first thought was to go over to them and grab they're arms. so i did.

"you aren't dying today." i said. "you have so much to live for. trust me. i know what it is like to lose someone close to you. i have lost my mother, father and my step mother. but i'm not going to kill myself. if you just have your family or other close friends with you then you can get through it. like i did." i said.

then i heard the sirens. i tried really hard to hold them back from jumping but i just couldn't. my hands slipped and...and they both jumped. i broke down and fell to my knees. the paramedics saw them jump and immediately went down to the river to see if they had survived.

they came back up with two stretchers with two lifeless bodies on them. i can't believe i just let chan's two best friends commit suicide. my heart felt empty. i went to the paramedics and asked if they would be alright. to my surprise they said "actually they both very surprisingly have a heartbeat. but we need to rush back to the hospital and probably into surgery if they are going to live."

i felt a moment of relief. but then realized that they are probably still going to die. i feel like this is my fault. if it weren't for me getting pregnant, then falling in love with chan, chan wouldn't have gotten shot and he would've been able to be there for his friends.