c o n f u s e d

c h a p t e r 5 ~ f l o w 🌈

Billie

I woke up in Xeina's bed alone. I was scared to even face her after last night. I didn't know what had come over me to even be that bold.

She probably wasn't even gay.

I got up and walked into the bathroom and brushed my teeth before walking down the stairs to a fresh smell of pancakes.

I found Xeina making pancakes, still in the shirt I gave her yesterday.

She looked so beautiful, just standing there. I was foolish to think that she could live here without my feelings growing for her.

"Hey", I said walking into the kitchen startling her.

"Hey, um sorry about the mess I wanted to make you breakfast", she said.

"It's good, the pancakes smell good too", I replied.

"Thanks", she said before turning back to finish her pancakes.

I wasn't sure if she was trying to act like last night didn't happen, but I felt like we needed to talk about it. I just didn't know how to start the conversation.

"Today, I'm going out to look for a job", she said.

"Why?", I asked. It wasn't like she had to pay for rent or anything, I had her covered for all that.

"Well because if my mom doesn't forgive me then I need to save up for an apartment or something", she said.

"You can stay here for however long you want", I said getting up to help her with the pancakes.

"Again thanks, I'm not sure what I would do without you", she said.

I stood beside her at the counter mixing the pancake batter.

"I got it from here", I told her.

"Thanks, I'll wash the dishes", she said.

"I'm sorry about last night", I blurted out.

"You did nothing wrong...I liked it", she said walking beside me.

She walked towards me falling into a gaze as I stared at her dark brown eyes. She was so beautiful, it was unbelievable.

She placed her hand on my cheek before leaning in. Her soft lips fell onto mine as we fell into a deep kiss.

"Billie?", Finneas said staring at me.

"Oh shit, sorry did I interrupt", he said covering his eyes.

Xeina quickly pulled away from the kiss and hid her face in embarrassment.

I walked towards Finneas, scared of what he was about to say.

He sat on the sofa with his hands over his face.

"Why didn't you tell me, I'd support you regardless", he said.

"I don't even know my self..i'm sorry", I said.

"Don't be, if this who you are then I support you", he said.

"Thats the thing, I don't even know who I am, I like her but I don't know if I'm gay, bi, pan or i don't know", I said.

"Then don't label yourself, you are you and if you like her then you like her", he said pulling me into a hug.

I thanked god that my brother was so supportive.

"So are y'all like together or what", he asked.

"I dunno, I guess we are just going with the flow", I said.