angel | dealor

twelve

I winced as John pressed the cotton ball to my face, hissing with pain. He frowned, gently pressing a kiss to my forehead and whispering: "I'm sorry, baby."

It was his turn to play nurse, this time. Whilst he'd definitely not come away from the incident scot-free, I was certainly worse for wear. Brian had walked us both to my house, with it being the closest, but had gone back to school after a little while, saying he had to get to a maths class. I had two hours of biology that afternoon, but certainly didn't plan on showing my face. John would have a full day of lessons, too. Hell, he wasn't even allowed off of school site during the day, so he would almost definitely be in big trouble. Fuck.

I had a graze along my cheek and bruising beginning to form on my nose and around my eyes. The rest of my body was sore, too. And I couldn't remember most of what happened.

"My head hurts, John.." I whined, bringing my hand up to rub the intact side of my face, careful not to catch my nose. "A lot. Fuck.." A loud groan slipped out of my mouth when he put the slightest bit of pressure on my sore nose, flinching back from the pain.

"I'm so sorry," The boy mumbled, pulling his hand away. "It should be clean. Can I clean your hands, now?" He asked, and I shook my head slightly. Whatever antiseptic liquid he had on that cotton wool burnt like hell. It was bad enough going through it once, I didn't want to have to go through it any more. "Come on, baby. Please?"

Regretfully, I nodded. The next ten minutes consisted of me calling John a lot of colourful names as he cleaned up the cuts on my hands and wrapped my knuckles up in a bandage. He did a much better job at playing nurse than I did. Once he finally released me and stood up to put the first aid kit away, I laid back on the sofa. I had to close my eyes once I was there. Even the short, slow movement was too much for my head, and the room began to spin.

"No sleeping," John told me, and I felt a cold weight on my face, making me recoil away from the pressure. "Could you just hold this? It'll help with the swelling," He mumbled, to which I nodded and took the object from him, it was some bag from the freezer wrapped in a tea towel, if my sense of touch was up to scratch. I heard some shuffling beside my head which I assumed was him sitting on the floor beside the sofa, and I felt my assumptions had been confirmed when he started running his fingers through my hair.

"That was so brave of you. Such a noble thing to do... Really stupid, but sweet. You really are my guardian angel.." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. His words made me smile faintly, although it hurt to move my face too much. There was a long moment of silence after he spoke, which was eventually broken by a muffled sob. My eyes snapped open at that, and I turned to face the other boy as quickly as I could, leaving the cold compress on the sofa. This proved to be a massive mistake, as suddenly there were three Johns sat beside me. I opted to look at the middle John, hoping it was the right one.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I mumbled, holding my free hand out towards him. Well, I held my arm out in front of me. Three arms, actually. Each pointing at a different John. Hopefully whichever one was my actual arm would be pointing at real John. Much to my dismay, the younger boy laughed, leading me to assume that I was just gesturing in a random direction. All of the Johns took my hand, squeezing it gently.

"I'm not... You... You're just so good to me, Roger... I don't deserve you. All I've done is bring you trouble, and all you've been to me is good," He smiled, watching me sadly. I had to close my eyes again, the number of Johns in the room had doubled, and my head was pounding.

"I think I love you, John Deacon," I mumbled, squeezing his hand. The fingers of his other hand were still gently running through my hair, and in that moment I felt content. Not with the horrifically awkward silence following my admission, nor with the aching pain searing throughout my entire body, but with John by my side, caring for me as if nobody else existed. As if nothing else mattered.

"Yeah?" John asked, his voice even softer that usual. "I think I love you too, Roger." There was a pause. A long pause, I could almost hear the thoughts whirring around his head. "I just.. I wish it was different."

"Different?" Was he breaking up with me? Why different? If my mind didn't already hurt, it did in that moment as I tried to figure out what 'different' meant, and John's answer was taking far too long to come to be reassuring.

"I just... This, Rog. Our first 'I love you's are meant to be shared whilst... I don't know, whilst we're on a romantic date, or... Or whilst we're fooling around. Having fun. Not... Not whilst I'm cleaning your own blood off you," He spoke quietly and thoughtfully, pulling my hair back out of my face. Slowly, I opened my eyes and offered him a weak smile.

"I'm sorry... Should... Should I have waited?" Was I rushing things? I didn't want him to feel pressured into saying it back, or anything along those lines. But I truly meant it. At least, I'm pretty sure I did. 'Love' wasn't a common feeling in my life, other than that from my mother.

He shook his head, however, smiling slightly. "No... No, I meant what I said, Rog. I just wish... Wish things could be better, y'know?" I nodded, pulling a face when he picked up the tea towel (along with its frozen contents) and held it back over my face. With a loud sigh, I took the parcel and pressed it to my face, hoping everything would be back to normal soon.

———

John gently shook me awake after what felt like only ten seconds of sleep, but the growing darkness of the room hinted otherwise. I simply grumbled and turned to my other side, trying to get some more shut-eye.

We'd slowly made our way up to my room, my head still pounding. John had managed to guide me well enough so I only hit most of the furniture on the way up, rather than all of it. John's voice sounded different, however. Had I hit my head so hard that he now sounded like a woman?

"Roger, can you hear me? I need to check if you're awake," He said, causing me to frown. His voice was really weird. It almost sounded like... My mum's voice. "Roger... Roger, please?" The person shook my shoulder again, and I was almost certain it wasn't John.

Slowly, I turned back over, cracking my eyes open the slightest bit. Yep, I was correct. There was my mother, sat on the edge of my bed with a concerned look on her face, not a John in sight. Damn, how long had I been out?

"Thank God.." She spoke softly, her hand reaching out to gently stroke my cheek, the cheek that wasn't all cut up. Still, I flinched slightly at the contact. My whole face was tender.

"Hi, mum," I croaked, slowly looking around. "What.. What time is it? How long did I sleep for?" I asked, subtly trying to locate my boyfriend. Wherever he was, he wasn't in the room.

"It's about five, dear. John said you've not been asleep too long. He said you had quite the bump to the head.." She trailed off, sighing sadly and gently stroking my hair. "It's almost as if you go out looking for trouble, Rog. I was worried when school rang and said you had skipped a lesson. I thought, 'that's not like my Roger.' I could tell something wasn't right."

"John... Where is John? Is he okay?" I reeled off my list of questions, a thousand more on the tip of my tongue, ready to fly out of my mouth before my mum shushed me gently.

"He's just making us all some tea, downstairs. Don't worry. He.. He told me what happened." Oh, shit. "I think you did a very brave thing, Roger. Looking out for him like that. Even if it did mean using violence. I'm proud of you, son." A genuine smile spread across her face as she spoke, and she leant down to kiss my forehead gently. "Now, you've had a tough day. How does a chippy tea sound?"

Never sounded better.

a/n
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Just an fyi, this book is going to have 20 chapters, including an epilogue