Aangan - Hari Hari (Discontinued)

Eik naya aghaaz

It was just another gloomy day in the household. Ami as usual complained about everything while making sure that I understood that I was to blame for all her problems. Like me not working in shop anymore was my fault not her son's who just left the house suddenly , which again was my fault because I apparently humiliated him . If one thing I have learnt about humans is that they are never happy , they go looking for stuff they can blame their God for but never them ,but the question I asked myself after complaining to Allah again and again is that what do I do for Him . Why do we only remember him in tough times but not when we are happy in our lives.

I know to some people who have suffered throughout their life blame God but for me when I had no one to cry to listen to me , I had God and I found solace in that. Aba's health was deteriorating day by day but so was his stubbornness with me . He would occasionally update me with politics or the novel he was reading. Ami was trying her best to find a marriage proposal for me but with the news of my so called affair spreading like wildfire it was difficult to do so. Sikandar was out of the picture , he was jailed for stealing money of the English and that's the last I had heard from him.

At last Ami found a groom for me and it was non other than her own nephew , Shahid. He lived in Lucknow with his mother Razia and younger sister Farhana and was 6 years older than me .She was successful in convincing Aba that wedding in family would be best as we could trust them and the plus point was that they were richer than us so marriage expenses would not be problem . After 4 days he and his family came to the house to make it official. I tried to observe him to the best of my ability , he looked quite decent to me not once he looked directly in my eye but just passed my a slight smile. Then it was decided that the wedding will take place after a week as Aba's health was getting more worse and it would be done with simplicity , that's what both of us wanted as well.

A week passed in a jiffy and here I was getting ready for the wedding with mixed feeling , I was scared to trust another man again but at same time though maybe this could give my the happiness I want . There was one feeling I was trying to suppress inside me or even ignore it was my Ama not being there , having your mother by your side is very important for any girl for every step she takes in her life specially a special day like this . I was still yearning for that motherly love that now maybe I would get from my mother-in-law but I'm not keeping my hopes very high.But to make myself feel closer to my Ama I decided to wear her wedding clothes for this day. It was a beautiful peachy orange dress with golden gotta work all over the sleeves mixed with with red embroidery. . Farhana was helping me getting ready when Aba came in and asked if he could talk to me privately . After Farhana left he sat down next to me and asked me if I was happy from this marriage and I told him indeed I was very happy. He said he wanted to give me some my Ama's wedding jewellery and when I gave him a puzzled look asking how he still had them , he very honestly admitted that he had sold some previously but the minute he brought me back he tried to buy all of them back . Looking at the man sitting next to me I thanked my Khuda for opening our hearts as he's the same man I sat in the buggy with ,who wouldn't even acknowledge me . For the next few minutes we both sat still with my head resting on his shoulder and his on my head with him occasionally whispering in my hair of how sorry he was .

I then asked Aba that who was coming to the wedding hopping that that one person, Jameel Ji does not show up . He told me that he invited everyone but bare chachu was still angry with him and dadi was ill he said he wasn't sure who was coming from chote chachu's house. That meant there was a chance that Aliya might come , but I told myself that I should't start a new phase of my life without bitterness for people who were going to be my past. It doesn't mean that I wasn't disappointing in the fact that mt previous family I grew up with wouldn't come to the wedding but at the same time I wasn't surprised either. Of course Irfan bhai could not come due to work which I was glad but Aba was angry but not surprised.

There was a knock on the door and Farhana had come to let us know that the Maulana sahb was here for the nikkah. Aba had walked me out and surprisingly chote chachu and Safdar bhai were here as well. I couldn't really see past the veil but I could tell there were only 10-15 people present . The nervousness that was building up the whole day ended with three words I muttered Qubool hai , Qubool hai , Qubool hai . The next half hour was spent taking everyone's dua's and feeding each other sweets and congratulations.

The ruksati was going to be tomorrow as that was the day I was to leave with my husband for Lucknow. Mazhar chachu came along with Safdar bhai to give me a gift he bought for me . It was a beautiful beige shalwar kameez with maroon and red embroidery all over but along with that he bought me a book which was filled with poetry and he said that my Ama used to write these but she hid it from Aba . I was overwhelmed and told him that I am so thankful fro this , this diary is the most beautiful gift I have gotten. He patted my head and told me that I am like his daughter and he knows that he wasn't there for her but he is here now .And also to thank Safdar bhai as he was the one who found it for her and I let him know that I would forever be grateful.

Later at nigh Safdar bhai came up to my room to ask me if I had time to talk to him , of course I said yes but was confused and we barely met before. He asked me if I was happy with the marriage and his question caught me off guard , then I had a moment of realisation and I muttered Aliya . He nodded saying that Aliya told him about Jameel ji and I told him to stop right there . He said he had the best interest in heart he didn't want me to become another Tehmina but I assured him that was my past and I am happy. I made him promise me that he would visit Aba and me as often as he could.That day I made so many new relationships and was ready to start my life again with a fresh start.