Aangan - Hari Hari (Discontinued)

New Chances

I woke up earlier than usual , prayed fajar and decided to make kheer for Aba. I knew Aba would be awake as with this illness it was difficult to catch some sleep .I took the kheer to his room and we fed each other in silence that spoke about the dread we both were probably feeling of being separated from each other .New thing you know Aba started coughing harshly and It was almost comical how the minute I opened my mouth to say something , he just raised his hand said "Chammi don't even think about not going to Lucknow because of me , you have to understand that your'e going to start a new life and I want you to have a fresh start without any baggage or burdens on your shoulder. Promise my you'll take care of yourself and show everyone the amazing person you are that I see and love ." I promised him that I'll do everything he wanted and that he had to promise me to take care himself and write to me as often as he could.

Then the day passed in rush with all the packing and arrangement being made for the ruksati . I again got ready in this beautiful pink dress full with hand embroidery done by my mother in law and the jewellery that Mazhar Chachu bought. It was then time to leave and all I can say that it was very very difficult and emotional and in no time we left with the Quran that Aba held over my head a minute ago now in my lap. I was taking my Aba's love and Allah's blessings to start my new life.

It took us a long time to reach home. Home I whispered to myself , not believing my eyes as I entered through the gate , this was where I was going to start a new journey filled with happiness. Razia Ami had taken me to my room which was decorated with jasmine garlands with bouquets of roses on the dressing table.The room was simple but beautiful , it had simple furniture but I could tell that it was expensive than what we had , the light shown through the massive window next to the dressing table which was open to let some air in . Right away Farhana started helping me to unpack my stuff and place it the half cupboard emptied for me . Everything was going so quickly and I still had not talked to my husband sound still sound weird on my tongue, apparently he was busy making arrangements for the guest coming today to look at me . Ami told me to make food for the guests as they were planning not to host Walima yet as Shahid said he is too tired and wants to rest a bit.I did not mind at all as I was tired my self and thought maybe he wanted to get to know me more and besides I had stopped worrying about what other would think a long time ago .

The rest of the evening was spent with guest coming in and out complaining how they were not invited or speculating if there was some kind secret we were finding . I then finally went to the room nervous as hell . After 15 minutes Shahid came in . He greeted me and asked me how I was too which I replied I am fine . He then asked me that I could go change if I want it is quite hot and off I went to change , I don't know why I was relieved at that otherwise a bride might get offended that her husband didn't even look at her properly. As I went to change all I could think of Jameel Ji and I finally looked at myself in the mirror and told my self that I have to be realistic .he was my first love . Yes I don't love my husband yet but that doesn't mean I won't love him at all , maybe I will fall in love with him but right now I wanted to start this relationship on compassion and respect. I finally went back to the room , it was now dark outside the only light was of the lantern and candles spread around . Shahid Ji finally looked up and asked me to sit next to him on the bed , the first thing he asked me that what did I want him to call me chammi or shamima and I said whatever he wants. He let out a sigh and looked up with questioning gaze . He then said " I'll call you Shamima for now as everyone call you chammi out of love , which is probably not present between us they way we would want , so I want us to get to know each other first. I do want to make one promise to you that I will respect you , be truthful and I'll try my best to be the husband you want me to be and you could ask me anything you want without any hesitation ". There was a minute of silence and then I nodded at him with a smile. As he was speaking I thought this was perfect as it would take me time to love him and get to know him , so rather than pretending which becomes tiring very quickly it was better to take out time . That being said he still gave me this beautiful ring and went out to blow the candles away .

The next week was spent getting to know each other the way he said we would. We would discuss about our hobbies and just our life really leaving out obviously bits of Jameel Ji just because I still wasn't ready to open that part of my past . He told me that he was not into politics at all , he hated how they were dividing people based on religion , I could tell he felt passionately about this as suddenly his face would change into this grief that I could not understand. On the other hand I told him about my love for poetry and he suggested that why don't I write something for the local magazine and it would be a great relief from all the chaos in the country.We would sit for hours just talking , laughing and that comfort level was increasing day by day. I don't know about love but respect , trust and friendship was definitely blooming.

I was still sending letters to Shakeel, he sent me this beautiful pen he had decorated with the help of bua to to write my poetry with , He as usual told me how everyone was and he also wrote that Jameel Ji had joined the army and my heart stopped , this massive fear consumed my heart. But I told myself its normal I would feel that way about anyone I cared about .Another weird thing was that he asked me to send him poetry as he didn't understand poetry and didn't like it either .I told myself that Jameel Ji would be fine , he probably wouldn't stay there too long and did this to get his Aba angry .

I then focused on my new relationships. Ami an amazing women , she talked to me the same way as her own daughter even though she was strict in her rules and regulation but still we had fun , there was no taunts about anything like not cleaning or cooking properly.She actually wouldn't let me cook telling me that it was my time to enjoy life. Farhana was a bundle of joy , she would make all of us laugh with her silly antics , she was like the little sister I never had , I helped her style her hair , helped her to learn to cook , stitch and all the good stuff.In that time I wrote to Aba twice and found out that Safdar bhai decided to stay with him which was a huge relief that someone would be there to take care of him . Shahid Ji also managed to get me admission in these morning classes for two hours three days a week for married women who wanted to study .That day when I prayed I thanked Allah for all his blessings that had granted me with and prayed to him to that this peacefulness stay with me forever.

Allah tests the ones He loves the most that's what I have heard but I have to admit the next test I was about to face shook me like never before .