A Love Like War (JALEX)

Chapter 6

Back in my room I pace back and forth trying to process all that I heard from my tree. I’ve decided to avoid Jack until I’ve worked everything out in my head. It’s going to be so awkward being around Jack now. I don’t feel the same. Do I? Of course not I just met the guy and I like chicks with their big boobs and small waists.

It’s already about 10 because Jack sat under my tree for ages and I was stuck there. I have a sore butt now. I rub my face as I sit on my bed, how can I avoid Jack if we’re doing a class project together? Maybe I should just avoid being alone with him. Laying down I wrap my blankets around me and put my earphones in and turning my music up loud. I miss you by Blink-182 plays as I drift to sleep.

I am jarred awake by the shrill of my alarm clock. Honestly, why does it have to go off every fucking morning! I stumble out of bed, and fall to the ground, face-planting. I groan as I push myself up. I make my way to the bathroom and turn my shower on. As I get undressed I see my reflection in the mirror. Well I’m guessing its mine because it’s fat and ugly. Yeah, ugly and fat like you. Why are you still here? Didn’t I tell you to kill yourself yesterday? Go on you little piece of worthless shit, cut your hideous body, you know you want to.

I grab my razor as I get into the burning water. It hurts, but the pain feels good. I stand there letting it saturate my whole body before bringing the blade to the skin over my ribs. I push down and pull it along my skin leaving a large cut. I keep doing it until both sides and stomach are covered. I relax into the pleasure of the pain. It takes my mind away from everything but the pain. I get out of the shower and wrap my towel around my waist. I hum slightly as I brush my teeth, avoiding the mirror as much as possible.

Blood has dried when I get back into my bedroom after drying and styling my hair. I pick up my black skinny jeans from the floor and tighten my belt so they stay up. I search through my draws until I find my other Blink-182 shirt. I slip it on painfully, small noises of pain getting emitted into the room. I pick up my empty bag and head downstairs. Mom smiles at me as I leave silently through the door. She must get annoyed at me for not talking, or showing any emotion. I get to the bus stop just as Jerry pulls up in the ancient bus.

He gives me my usual smile as I pay for my ride. I sit around the middle as usual and pull my hoodie on. My music gets turned up as loud as it goes as I know Jack will be getting on the bus soon. The small tap on my shoulder comes sooner than expected. I quickly move my bag without looking up, I know it’s Jack. No one else would even think about sitting next to me. I sit there listening to my favourite My Chemical Romance song when my hoodie and headphones are pulled off. I scowl at the boy sitting next to me. It must look like I’m about to kill him because he cowers away from me.

“Ugh, sorry Alex,” Jack says awkwardly, his face turning red as he looks at the ground. Why does this boy have to be so god damn adorable? I turn away before I do something stupid like kiss him. I would kiss him, I would love to kiss him. Am I gay? I don’t even know. I can’t be, it’s wrong. Jack must just be confused as well, he could never like me. I’m just too . . . me. My father doesn’t like me, my mother tolerates me and my brother obviously didn’t like me because he left me. Even I don’t like me.

Maybe I was a little hard on the kid. No I will do something I will regret. Jack places my headphones on my lap and fiddle with his fingers awkwardly. Everyone else on the bus can sense the tension between us because no one else talks. This makes it even more awkward, an environment void of human nose. I put my headphones back on and stare out the window. We pull up at school and Jack tries to talk to me again, I ignore him bluntly as I walk towards homeroom. Ms Green smiles at me as I enter her room with Jack trailing behind me.

“Morning boys,” she greets us as we take our seats at the front of the class, then she walks out leaving me alone in the room with Jack. Yay . . . not. He turns to face me and just stares. It’s annoying, why does this have to be so awkward. I turn to scowl at him but his lips connect with mine and he pulls me onto his lap. It shocks me, how can he be so forthcoming when he doesn’t even know how I feel. God even I don’t know how I feel. But here I am, kissing him back with my fingers laced through his soft hair.

I am basically straddling him, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. My cuts are burning like hell but I’m trying my hardest to ignore the stinging pain. He can’t find out, he would hate me. I moan as he tugs on my bottom lip, why must he do this to me? Why must he have this effect on me? I tug lightly on his hair which receives a loud, deep, sexy moan which is when I slip my tongue in. This is getting way too heated for school. But you know what. I wouldn’t change it at all.

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I did it. i updated wooooo

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