Ambivalence

Part 9

Warnings: slight smut (18+ please), swearing, violence, character death

 About a week after the letter you sat on your bed pouting. Tony was throwing a pointless party in a private estate with loads of people. You had argued with the team yesterday saying you weren't going to go for everyone's safety but they all ignored you. They said you were going and that was final. 

You heard a knock on the door and decided not to answer it. Not that it mattered because Bucky just strolled in anyway. He stood in front of you, arms crossed as he said, "Why haven't you started getting ready yet?". 

He raised an eyebrow when you hadn't answered for a while, you sighed and said, "Bucky, I can't go. I would be endangering the lives of everyone there. It's not fair on everyone else for me to ruin their night". 

He drops down on his hunches so that he was eye level with you, he takes your hands in his and speaks softly, "Its not fair on you either doll. You haven't left the compound in weeks and I know its starting to take its toll. You're so tense all the time and I know you think I don't notice when you slip off in the middle of the night to go train because you can't sleep. I'm not gonna let him do this to you. We haven't seen him since...since you got injured. You're going to the party Y/N, even if it kills me". 

He beams at you and you've never been able to resist that smile so you nod your head as Bucky gets up to leave you to it. But just before his hands leave yours you get up and pull him back. Your lips meet softly at first before you both deepen the kiss. Bucky slides his hands down to your waist as yours go to his hair. You pull on the strands to tip his head back. He growls when he feels your lips kiss and nip at his throat. 

He picks you up and you automatically wrap your legs around his waist. He backs up onto the bed, him falling on top of you and your legs stay wrapped around him. You buck your hips rubbing against the bulge that was there. He gasps in your mouth as your tongue explores his. 

He breaks away to lift your top and throw it away. He groans at the sight of you not wearing a bra. He's staring at you intensely when he murmurs, "If we carry on I won't be able to stop". 

You bite your lip in the way that drives him crazy, watch him close his eyes before you say, "why would I want you to stop?". 

You run your hands up under his shirt feeling the rumble of his voice as he says, "with all the things I want to do with you doll, we'd be late for the party". 

You drag your nails softly down his chiselled chest and stomach causing him to involuntarily move his hips. You remove your hands from his shirt and bring them behind his neck to bring him closer to you. His arms come either side of you making you feel safe inside his arms. You bring your lips to his ear as you whisper, "then you better be quick Sergeant". His eyes snap to look at you at the use of the term, the intense gaze was full of lust and the moment you giggled Bucky lost all resolve.

You were ready before Bucky. You hadn't lost your smile since he left your room. You told him that you weren't dressing up for the party, in fact you were going in your fighting gear but he didn't seem to mind whether that was because of the sex or that he was happy you were going it worked for you. 

Nat was appalled by the way you were dressed going to the party since Tony had made it a black-tie event. She complained about it the entire time we were in the car on the way to Tony's private estate. It was just you, Nat and Wanda in the car. Nat couldn't be bothered to wait for the boys who were taking too long. 

When you got there the party was in full swing. The house was huge but you didn't expect anything different from Tony. When you arrived you were offered champagne, which you refused. Nat threw her hands up and declared you a lost caused. You smirked as she said she was going to look for something stronger. You told Wanda to go look after her as she gave you an apologetic look. You could see the internal war inside Wanda, not wanting to leave you but wanting to make sure Nat didn't get completely wasted in the first hour. You reassured her that you'd be fine, and that Bucky would be here soon. She wrapped an arm around your waist and gave it a squeeze before going off to find Nat.