The Pink Notebook with Stickers

ℙ𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝟛

Beware: This gone be long 

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I remember way back when you would barely bat an eye at me. I would think I was just an annoying pest to you. As much as I wanted to leave you be, I couldn't. 

You were everything I wanted and needed. There would be times when I would get my hopes up thinking you may have liked me in the slightest. I never would've thought you'd like me.

But that one night came.

We were hanging out with our mutual friend. Just the three 3) of us. 

We were left alone. 

An awkward silence filled the air along with...tension???, But that can't be right. 

I've gotten over you. 

Why does everything feel weird still???

Then he let out a tired sigh like had had enough. 

Enough of What?

I couldn't tell you. 

That's when he finally announce that your significant other has broken up with him. 

The original plan of this hangout was that there would be four (4) of us, but one couldn't make it. 

You even tell us how they said not to go because they weren't going, but you came anyway. 

And though all this time I'm wondering what's been taking the fourth person so long?

Anyway, he continues going on about how he felt he didn't do enough in the relationship and that you "loved" her. 

I call BS.

So for the rest of the night, we go on about each other and our past. 

Me convincing him that he was nothing but the greatest boyfriend out there. 

I know this for a fact, I was there throughout most of this. 

Just because I got over my silly crush doesn't mean I didn't check up from time to time. 

From what I've seen he's treated her like a queen. She was just greedy.

ANd I go on to tell him all this and when I'm done it gets real quiet, but strangely because he's been staring at me wide-eyed, or am I staring? 

Well whatever, it is kind of a nice moment. 

Until he speaks...

"Have I ever told you how much I like you?" 

So my mind was not okay before with all that happened before but this just takes the cake. 

After the initial shock, I could finally reply with a very overexaggerated.

"What?" 

Then he repeats himself with the most sincere answer. 

What he possibly mean that.

Romantically or Platonically (what do you think dummy).

I'm too much of a hopeless romantic (I promise to be if I one more ti-) for this mess. 

I just wanted to hang out with my friends, but he just had to say that. 

I finally drag myself out of my head when he repeats himself again. 

you may ask " Well How did you respond???" 

and I'll go on to tell you "yea you know I was really cool about it, I was like nawwwwwwww how much you like me ?"

But in reality I was stuttering, socially anxious, mess. 

"What on Earth are you going on about?!" (Nessa what in the heck) 

Because I'm an old lady British lady from the 1960s. Smooth.

But he doesn't mock me for my strange antics...well maybe not on the outside. 

But simply laughs and goes on to tell me how he's liked, me since I got here two years ago (Sound familiar ;)).

How yea even though he had a significant other, but he thought I was one of the brightest, most amazing person in the world. ( No cap its highly uncomfortable for me to write parts like this... it just feels weird).

How he couldn't wait to see the next weird thing I get myself into and up with next. 

How my smile is the best thing to happen since cheesecake. 

How worried he'd get when I have one of my episodes and he'd want to just hold me until that blinding smile returns. 

And lastly how sad he was when I left and we stopped talking. 

He said for the longest he thought it was just admiration for me because I was so sweet, kind, and loving, but still, notice the small things about me. 

Like how I have a headband for any occasion or how I would find anything to write on and that sometimes he would keep those little notes cause he thought they were so cute. 

But what really topped it off was when he got jealous noticing how close, I and our friend were. 

Like the day I wore our friend's jacket, he was fuming and just wanted to rip it off and replace it with his own. 

But he didn't.

Why?

Cause you had somebody else at the time and he was loyal and gosh if it wasn't something I was really attracted to him for. 

Or how smart he was and funny, kind, creative, and just a beautiful individual altogether. 

But back to the issue at hand. 

I was just confessed to by my old crush. 

But at this point, can I still refer to him like that?

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Okay so I'm really tired so ima stop here 

This part isn't done yet so there will be a part to for sure

More likely tomorrow 

~Nessa~