Thirty Five ☾

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Liv

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Liv

I looked around the city that is so unfamiliar as I stood on the ledge. It looks so weird, some parts look like home, and others completely unrecognizable. My foot came off the ledge of whatever I was on, and I continued to fall all the way down.

It seemed like it took two seconds but before I could meet impact with the ground I sat right up, and was breathing heavily. My chest rose up and down quickly as I looked around feeling the silk sheets of the bed.

Well- that dream was awful. My legs felt numb as if I was just running making me wiggle them around.

I mean I'm winded just by walking up the stairs, but I'm shaking and it was only a dream. I think this is a sign that I need to work out.

Do you ever have those dreams? Where right when you're gonna get hurt, or see something cool you wake up? It's not like you can go back to bed and wait for the sequel.

Soft knocks came from my door and again, and again until I said a quiet 'come in.' The door opened to reveal a very tired looking Ethan as he rubbed his eyes like a sleepy baby. He strolled over to my bed wearing only sweatpants hanging low, and flopped down on my bed, pulling me to him.

He wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his chest, rubbing his fingers through my hair, moving it out of my face. He closed his eyes snuggling his head into my neck and exhaling, tickling my skin.

"What time I-is it?" I asked quietly watching him peek one eye open. His eyes were always more green in the mornings, I guess that makes mornings my favorite. "Too early." He whispered in a deeper voice than usual. I just nodded muttering a quiet 'okay' complying until a light pinch on my hip caused me to yelp.

Excuse me sir. Who do you think you are? Not the king of candy land- if that's what you think!

"You're forgetting one word princess." He whispered rubbing his nose down my neck trailing his lips across my skin. I just said okay.. what word-

"Okay..daddy." I whispered quietly laying my head on his chest as he kissed my forehead, and cuddled me tighter as if it was the last time he would ever hold me in his arms. I found myself smiling when he let me call him that.. I find comfort and safety by calling him just a simple name.

I know- I know.. it's odd, but it just me. I realized I was something called a 'little' last year. I realized that not every teenage girl has the amount of stuffies I do, sucks her thumb for comfort, or likes a possessive male.

Some women say, with a possessive man is not a good relationship to be in, but I feel safe and cared for with him the way he is. I like to have rules, to be cared for.. and when I'm in 'little space?' Apparently I turn into a little girl. I'm fine with that, because all my problems seem to slip away, and I can just focus on one thing. Coloring inside the lines.

I don't quite understand all of it, but I guess I'm a little and I've learned to accept it.

You know what? Yeah I suck my thumb okay? I cuddle and occasionally talk to my stuffies-I gotta tell someone the tea. And sometimes all I wanna do is cuddle my teddy bear with my flipping thumb in my mouth, as I watch Disney movies.. that's just who I am. Deal with it.

Greaser ☾Ethan Dolan Where stories live. Discover now