Red vs Blue Season 9: Male Oc

Rvb S9 E14 "Son of a Bitch"

Epsilon Unit/Middle of BloodGulch
Blue team is standing on a hill, watching the reds from a distance and debating over which one to kill. As a earthquake briefly occurs.

Tex: Ok, pick one.

Church: Anyone?

Tex: Well, preferably one on that side of the canyon. But uh, I'm not all that choosy.

Tucker: Why are you looking at me when you say that?

Tex: No reason... just pick one and take the shot. I'll cover you if they attack.

Church: You mean, shoot them with this?

Church raises his sniper rifle.

Tex: What else?

Wade: Heheh, he's not really the greatest marksman here.

Tex: Give me a break. You're a soldier.

Zeta: That's still up for debate, for him.

Tex points over to a rock in the distance.

Tex: Hit the rock over there.

Church: Okay.

Church fires two shots at the rock with the sniper rifle, but misses them both completely.

Wade: Told yeah.

Tex: Ugh...

Church: Ya see, I think the uh.. the sun reflected off the rockface there and..

Zeta: (Sarcastically) Of course, it was the suns fault.

Church: Now, hold on-

Tex: Just gimme the damn rifle.

Church: Yeah okay. Thanks.

Over to Donut and Lopez (Disguised as Simmons) on a hill with some equipment at Lopez feet.

Donut: Hey Simmons, did you hear that?

Lopez: >Yes. It sounded like a rifle.<

Donut: I'm sure it's nothing.

Lopez: >Why would you say that? This is a war zone.<

Donut: Good point Simmons. Back to work!

Back over to Blue team where Tex, now has the sniper rifle in her hands.

Tucker: Dude, this has to be embarrassing for you.

Church: I don't really want to talk about it.

Tex: Alright come on, it's not that hard. Which one should we take out? The pink one, the orange one..

Caboose: Pretty sure he's yellow.

Tex: Is it me, or does he seem a little slow?

Tucker: Yeah, Caboose was held back a grade. Or two.

Zeta: He's just a slow learner.

Tucker: That's what they all say.

Tex: Anyway, I meant the orange one.

Tucker: Ohohoh, yeah he's just fat.

Tex: What about the red one? I mean, he's the leader, he seems tough. Or maybe the maroon one? He looks like he's up to something.