Songs Have Meanings

Love of my Life by Queen

I can't sleep tonight.

I thought about the way your skin touches mine, like you were made of satin. It still lingers in my memory and I never have the intention to erase it out of my head. It felt so damn good to have you by my side, like I wanna ignore the whole world to focus on your lively eyes.

You're honestly the love of my life.

You knew that song, right? We used to listen to Queen's song Love of my Life with the same earphones underneath a tree. I love that song, but I preferred the music in your chest while I put my head onto it.

That tree became our rendezvous. Not that our parents were too strict, but we admitted to each other that we preferred to be alone. I wanted that concept. I wanted to be alone with you, to enjoy your presence, to be there when you can't go home because your parents had storms, to listen to your lame jokes.

To make it simple, I wanted every inch of you.

But you came to the point that the sweet smile you were giving me before became bitter. I've been to our meeting place again, but you weren't there. So, I've just listened to our favorite song by myself while leaning my back against the tree - and I've even imagined I was leaning against your chest. That's crazy, I know. To think that I'm hopelessly waiting for the person that I don't even know if he was missing me like I do.

I came to the point that I've stalked you and my questions were answered. You were not alone all this time. I thought you preferred to be alone? I thought I was enough for you?

And that's when it strikes me hard like a ton of bricks falling down at me. It was just me all this time. I was the only one who was having a tight grip on our relationship - do we even have it? Or am I just a past-time for you?

Or maybe, I've quickly assumed things when you were talking to me like your words were a jar of candies. I've craved for it, and that led me to a total addiction.

You're in my head right now and I can't really sleep. Is this your effect to me? It's like you own my brain and I can't have a strong control to it. You occupied all the space in my mind, and it wanted to explode out.

All I can do at this moment is to cry for you. I wanted you, but you don't anymore. I needed you, yet you needed her.

And that's it.

I just hope to move on soon. It will be a long journey to be able to forget your smile, your funny gestures, and your reaction whenever I'm teasing you. I know you will be forever carved in my memory, and I'll still wait for you until the day I'm numb.

Because you're the love of my life.