Songs Have Meanings

Unfaithful by Rihanna

"You're going out again?"

I remembered you asking that same question whenever I'm wearing fancy dresses, but you never searched for the whole detail. You were smiling that day, but your eyes held something that I don't want to explain.

I didn't want to do it to you, but I couldn't help it. He, somehow, made me feel like I'm his queen, and I loved that. He gave me the satisfaction by complimenting me everytime we were holding each other.

You knew everything, I can see the way you would always prefer to be alone in the corner. I've told you that I wanted a break-up, but you insisted that you'd endure all the pain, that you would swallow your pride just to stay by my side. I could see that you really love me, so you said that the concept of our current relationship was okay for you.

I've recalled that day when I'm preparing for a night out, you've asked me again the same question, but I still lied. I told you that I was heading to my friend's party, but we both know that it wasn't my real destination. I was with him the whole night, without thinking about the man I left in the house.

Days, weeks, and months passed by and it continued. I know, I'm such a bad woman. I can see you dying a little more inside, but I just shrugged you off.

And you know what? I don't wanna be a murderer anymore. I want to say sorry for what I did to you, but I know it is too late.

You're gone.

And it's hard to accept that I've killed someone's heart by breaking it, crushing it into million pieces, and let the dust join the wind. If only I could turn back the time, I would never let you in my life. Because of me, you came to the point that you couldn't reach the thick rope of a little hope - the hope of bringing the fire back to lighten our rotten relationship.

If Karma is real, then I must say it's true. My conscience is killing me slowly. All you ever did was to pour me with your pure soul, but I abandoned it. I feel so guilty right now and I need someone to comfort me, but I have no one anymore. They all left me, including you. And I know, it was all my fault in the first place.

I just hope this is the right thing. I have to end this because I can't stand this depression anymore.

I just have to put this around my neck.