Kid of Spiders: Peter Parker oneshots

And I care why? 2

"Come on Wade, I want to snuggle." Peter whined to the Merc.
"Fine, fine" Wade yeeted himself up on the bed. Peter climbed in as well and was soon engulfed in a blanket.

Now you may be wondering how the frick frack diddly dack did Peter meet the Avengers? Well... It was not pretty.

~~~~FLASH (hehe) back~~~~~

Peter was riding the lift up to the floor where he and his parents live. He walked through the doors and started talking. "Hey Dad can I have an apple-"
Knifes thrown, shot fired, and there is a hammer stuck in the door.
"Peter you better not be bending the lift again!"
"I'm not! It's the orangutans that are in the living room!"
"EcUsE yOu? I AM A BIRD"
"oh ok. Hold on let me get something."
Peter then proceeded to jump on the ceiling and crawl to a different room.
"Wait is that Spiderman?" Sam questioned.
"Holy shit- YOURE RIGHT!" Clint screamed. Peter then came crawling back in the room, holding a little bag. "HERE BIRDY BIRDY GET YOUR FOOD!" Petter yote birdseed at Clint. He looked up at Peter, dead inside.
Just then Steeb entered the room. "So how are guys liking the tower- Peter! What have a said about throwing birdseed at people!"
"I'm very confused as to what just happened but shouldn't we be focusing on finding my brother?" Thor threw in.
"Oh yeah that's the whole reason we're here." Clint responded.
"PETER GIVE ME THE PLAY STATION CONTROLLER" A mysterious voice screeched.
"THERE'S 6 CONTROLLERS PICK ONE IF THEM!"
"NO YOU TOOK MINE! YOU KNOW I HAVE TO USE THAT ONE. I WILL DIE." Suddenly a pissed off Loki stomped into the living room. His eyes widened when he saw his brother. "Uhhh hi?" Loki squeaked out.
"Brother I have come to take you back to Asgard!"
"Fuckthat-" Loki said but was cut off.
"Language!"
"I speak English!" Loki sassed and started to climb up on Steve's shoulders and sit down.
"Why do you want to take Loki to Asgard?"
"That's not important man of spiders. Loki what are you doing up on the Captain like that?"
But then Tony decided to join the group chat and also walk in the room. "Peter, Dum-e and U are get whiny they want you to play Monopoly with them-" Tony finally looked up from the hologram he was holding of the cameras in the lab to make sure his robots don't destroy anything. "This is probably the most calm the tower has ever been. "
"Yes, cooking nights do tend to get.... hectic" Natasha finally decided to sat.
"Are you kidding me? That one over there got himself stuck in the blender twice. " Strange said, coming in the room.
"Shhh we don't talk about the times Papa. "
Everyone (except spoderboi, steeb, tiny, stank, link, and my strange addiction): "Papa?"