The Bookworm meets The Poet [Michaeng]

THREE

It was late in the evening when I finally let myself free from the whole exhausting day at the Uni and I take a long way back to home to take a breather to calm myself. Today wasn't really a good day perhaps for my mental health.

I stopped when I saw a familiar short figure in a varsity jacket with her name on the back, her hand made way through her blonde hair that was blocking her view. It's been few days I haven't seen her and even if I put on my mask to hide my emotions that has been bothering me.

She just see through me without trying so hard. That fact scared me at first before I finally warm up to the thought of there are some people have the ability to read our emotions.

We decided to hangout by the vendor street because I feel drinking, it's how I cope with my emotions when I don't feel like talking it out. She knew but she didn't try to force me not to drink and insisted to stay by my side so that nothing would happened to me.

She's like a cute protective bodyguard.

"Stress with class today?" She watched me spinning the small glass cup in the tips of my fingers as I stared quietly at the liquor spinning in circular waves.

I consumed the whole drink in one gulp before glancing sideway in her direction. "I received another letter from T.C. And Sana seemed to be wondering of us too. She thought I'm selfish for not considerate anything."

"She thought we are dating?" There was something off the way her grin just simply form on her lips. Probably I was getting tipsy, that my mind cloud my logical sense. I mentally ignore that thought probably assuming for no reason.

"Yeah, and she wanted T.C to notice her now because she didn't believe we're friends and she wanted to spare T.C heart from getting heart broken because of me. She thought I was finally getting those little butterflies ever since you came around." I smiled bitterly as my mind went back to the lunch break conversation with Sana. I didn't want to have an argument at all with her but she was upset when I didn't give her any reasonable answer and it became awkward between us.

"Do you like this T.C person?"

"I'm not sure anymore. At first I thought I did but now things changed that I couldn't even understand. Relationships is just too much Chaeyoung. And feelings are messy and complicated. At first you're collected and happy on your own and what happened next when you're got hooked on by someone and be with them, that's how things started to change. Like even love just make you stupid and... and." I started to laugh, suprising the other people inside the camp while chaeyoung remain silent and I knew she was worried.

Sometimes I don't even understand the point of being in love with someone.

We are supposed to make them happy but why is there such as thing as pain when we wanted to be happy too?

I gently hold her hand before giving her a wide silly gummy smile and my cheeks were flushed to the point from chaeyoung's gaze just tells me that I had enough drink for tonight. "You know chaeng, I don't think I can make someone happy after all those experiences. If I had to be honest, I have the tendency to be numb even after rejection or a break up. Maybe that's what I had to learn after all those shitty promises are meant to be broken. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't tired. Maybe I was just truly done."

It's true, people are complicate but not love.

Love is blind they said.

That's why some people still fall in love with their eyes open because they didn't understand the meaning of love that meant to be cherish with close eyes.

Chaeyoung put her lips near to my ear as her hand covered on top of mine that was still grabbing the empty small glass and the way her voice sounded so husky when she whispered just shook the whole system inside of my body.