Part 8

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9/11 I am officially free of lung cancer since I was 9

9/12 I found out I have spinal cancer after 4 years of chemo to prevent it

So that's why I didn't update.

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When Rafael, Nick, Olivia and Amanda had walked out of court after the 4th day of the trail, Rafael's voice was hoarse and not very loud after he had, had a small coughing fit just after he started cross examining the defenses first witness.

"Consoler? You okay?" Amanda asked as she put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to a bench.

He shook his head, trying to catch his breath as he moved ever so quickly to the bench. When he realized what was happening it was too late, it went black and his unconcious body slumped to the unforgiving tile.

Olivia kneeled at his sided as Nick, Amanda and several others called in through their radio for a bus. Her mind was indeed spininng as she lightly shook his shoulder speaking in full panic "Rafael. Come on."

It was the first time she had called him by his first name in public, well more around the squad but still in public.

His head was slummped to one side, hearing him breath shallowy, she moved his head back to where the back of his head was on the ground. Her stomach and heart slowly dropped as a large stream of blood came from his mouth, it now pooling on the ground.

The wail of sirens was close and she thanked god, looking back up at her detectives who were just as much shock as she was.

She gulped, she was in shock having no idea what to do, she just looked at her squad, praying to god that he would be okay.

As the paramedics took over, Olivia stood up and took a step back, feeling a little bit helpless.

Walking with the stretcher, Olivia kept her distance from him, ever since he had asked for space she didn't feel right being affectionate or even very close to him.

Standing back she watched as Rafael, who was strapped in the stretcher with a blanket over him, she didn't know what was going on. Only looking at him concerning as he started to awake and cough again.

His head slumped to the side as he stopped coughing, trying to catch his breath. Olivia turned to her detectives and said in solemn "Go home. You have a long day tomorrow."

Olivia looked into the ambulance as one of the paramedics started to prep Rafael. Barba turned his head towards her as a oxygen mask was placed on his head, exposing another large pool of blood that formed when his head was slumped. In his raspy, more airy voice he could only say 3 words

"I'm sorry Liv."

That scared her. She didn't know what what it meant, or even what it should mean. What was he trying to say or tell her.

It was a few weeks before anyone heard from Barba, the substitute junior ADA was clueless on all counts.

Barba walked into squad room with literally the least amount of clothes on that they've seen him in, well everybody accept Olivia had seen him in. He was wearing a white collared t-shirt and a pair of kaki pants with semi formal dress shoes.

He absolutely regretted getting out of bed this morning, he had no choice as he had involuntarily added 'cane' to his list of accessories.

"Hey- hey, consoler.." Fin said as he set down his coffee cup, looking at the mostly healthy assistant district attorney.

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