hard to love | john murphy

12. REALITY OR ILLUSION?

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CHAPTER TWELVE
REALITY OR ILLUSION?
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COBALT NERVOUSLY PLAYED with her fingers to pass the time on where she sat. In front of her was a blank screen of where the Chancellor sat. On her head were headphones, a place where she heard complete static. She was waiting. Clarke had told her that it was worth a try to convince Jaha to at least say goodbye to her father. She didn't know how to stop Jaha from floating the only family she had left, nor did she even know if Jaha would listen to her. All she wanted was to have someone there for her, but everyone appeared to be disappearing. Cobalt even found herself losing Raven when she just got her back. She didn't know who she was when she tortured the Grounder in the dropship, that wasn't the Raven she knew. Cobalt didn't know anyone anymore, she just wanted her father back.

"Cobalt Connors?" The girl finally averted her eyes away from her hands and to the screen. Instead of a blank screen, Chancellor Jaha was sat there. Cobalt's muscles tightened going back to the day he betrayed her. The day he sat her down in a chair for assault. The day she looked into his eyes, begging for him to keep his promise. The day Cobalt had finally learned that someone could break their trust, their promise, in a single snap of fingers.

She gulped, "Chancellor, I've been meaning to ask you something..." Cobalt froze begging in her mind. Please, work. Please, work. "About my dad. Do you—Do you think I can see him?" Cobalt saw the look on the Chancellor's face expression from when he first showed up, and it looked nothing like it did now. It fell, his eyes showing sympathy, as his lip parted slightly. Cobalt knew, she just knew, that he was going to let her down again. Chancellor Jaha always did this, he always spoke about hope, but in the end, all the hope drains away because he has to be fair. He has to do his job. He has to do what he believes is right.

"I'm sorry, Miss Connors, but I cannot do that," He said truthfully. "Your father committed multiple crimes, it's not fair for the amount he has done. I thought you would've understood since..."

"I would have understood you, Chancellor, if both of the people who committed these crimes we're to-be-floated. Abby Griffin committed all those crimes, but she seems to be doing perfectly fine wandering around the Ark even though it was her idea. I'm sorry, Jaha, but none of that is fair. If you want me to understand, than you need to be fair," Cobalt said. The Chancellor didn't show any emotion though he did listen to every word that Cobalt was saying. "And I'm not here to understand, I am here to see my father."

Jaha sighed, "Cobalt, what you're asking would have to go to great lengths of trouble. Abby Griffin was pardoned, because she's a doctor. Your father was only merely on the Council."

"Then go to great lengths!" Cobalt shouted at him through anger. "You floated my mother. You floated my brother. And now you are floating my dad. The only reason I am trying so hard to survive was so I could see him again, but now I don't even know if I can see him." Jaha was silent. He didn't know what to say. He's cause this girl so much pain, but it wasn't his choice. There were rules—laws—that they needed to follow. He knew he shouldn't have pardoned Abby, but she was a doctor, they needed her. "Please, Jaha, let me say goodbye."