F*ck love

132 5 0
                                    

Today's that very day. The day i got to meet the same people who abandoned me so many years ago. I honestly had no idea if this would go well or not, all i know is they were assholes and didn't deserve to see me after what they put me through.

I finish getting ready trying to look somewhat decent and lean on the kitchen counter taking a deep breath trying my best to calm my racing heart.

"Nervous huh?" Anti asks as he wraps his arms around me

I push him away and sigh, "remember our little date at the coffee shop, i told you i moved here after some things happened...." i pause to make sure he remembers, I didn't feel like repeating myself

"Yea you said your grandma let you move in with her in dublin" he says

"These people are the reason i ran away, the reason i lost everything and everyone close to me.... what happened Anti.... you actually were a good person... now you only care about yourself" i say as i grab a cup and fill it with water drinking it slowly

Anti doesnt say anything but i can see the fury in his eyes but he simply only walks away.

I begin to be filled with frustration as he tries to completely ignore the fact that i asked him something, "fuckin answer! You can't just keep ignoring my questions when you dont like them!" I yell which causes him to walk back into the kitchen

"I'd keep your mouth shut if i were you" he growls at me as he points his finger at me in a threatening manner.

"Answer me damnit! What the hell happened! I actually thought you loved me at the start, and now you're just using me for amusement so tell me which one it is so i can prepare for the worst!" I yell as i realize im writing my death wish at this very moment. Tears begin to spill out of my eyes and i quickly try to wipe them away but more trickle down

"Why do you always have to try to start some fight? You can be so oblivious sometimes" he growls as he walks up to me and towers over my shaking figure

I can feel the anger radiating off of him as if he was a bonfire in the arctic. I begin to shiver in fear of any sudden movements he may make.

"You simply will never understand will you" he says with a sigh

"A-Anti..... i get im just a game for you but you took this too far!" I yell through sobs and fear.

He stays silent just looking down upon me

"Th-they're the reason im covered in scars.... Anti... they hurt me both physically and mentally... they.... they abused me..... they used me.... and yet you want me to be perfect in front of them.... you took this too far! If anyone wont understand something its you! You'll never understand how much you've hurt me, and you'll never understand what you're forcing me to do!" I yell through sobs refusing to look up at him as i cover my face with my hands.

Anti stays silent for a moment before i feel his hands grasp mine tightly and pull them away from my face. My shaking worsens as i still refuse to look up at him but afraid of what he might do. He gingerly grabs my chin and lifts my face up forcing me to look at him. He was already pretending to be Jack, his eyes were the beautiful sky blue i rarely saw nowadays. He stares at me for a moment, studying me. In the blink of an eye i feel his lips place on mine tenderly.

I lift up my hands to push him away but stop myself as i realize he's actually caring about me for one second. I still pull away and look away as i wipe my eyes that still were spilling with tears. I manage to stop the flood of water from my eyes, "you can't switch sides just because you want me to shut up" i say still refusing to look at him

"Will you stop denying the truth for one second? Am i not allowed to care about you?" He says confused

"I want things to go back to the way they were in the beginning back when i simply thought you were Jack and you weren't controlling everything about my life" i say as i start to walk past him.

He grabs my hand and pulls me into his chest my back facing him, as he wraps his arms around me, "things will never be the same as before if you keep acting like this" he whispers softly in my ear in a menacing tone

"Then why can't you just leave me and go find someone else" i growl trying to get free

He's silent for a moment as his grip tightens practically crushing me in his arms. He leans a little closer to my ear and i can feel his breath hit my neck causing chills to run up and down my spine, "i need you" he whispers softly and slowly before he kisses my cheek harshly.

I try to pull away from him but his grip holds me like a mousetrap. Before i can say anything he picks me up throwing me over his shoulder as he walks towards my room. I kick and scream knowing what was about to happen, but i soon fall silent as there's no use in trying to free myself because he wont listen. He locks my door and pins me down on the bed. He pulls my wrists above my head holding them there with one hand as he begins to kiss and nibble on my neck.

"A-Anti.... wait" i choke out as im frozen with fear

Anti stops and places his free hand on my cheek, "what is it beautiful, you know you want this as much as i do, it'll help you feel better about your guests that are coming over" he says as he grabs my jeans with the hand that was placed on my cheek

"I-if you really do still care about me or love me then you wouldn't force yourself onto me, i... i dont wont this" i say panicking

Anti simply sighs deeply as he lets go of me and sits up, "I'll make you a deal then" he says as he watches me sit up, "you—" before Anti can speak, a loud knock on the door causes me to panic as i quickly rush out to the living room fixing myself before i open the door and smile brightly to see a man and a woman, the woman in her mid to late forties, and the man in his early thirties's maybe 29 at the youngest

"Wow you definitely took the looks of your dad" the woman says already getting an attitude with me

I simply smile and chuckle, "its been so long! Grandma would love to see us meeting again!" I lie with a tone of happiness in my voice.

Anti walks up and smiles as he wraps his arm around me slightly startling me, "you must be Mrs. and Mr. L/n, its so lovely to finally meet you both" Anti says sweetly

My mom looks at me eyes wide and raised eyebrows, "and who's this nice young man!" She says unable to believe i even had another person in my life

"This is my boyfriend Sean" i say sweetly as i look up at Anti and give him a fake but believable smile

"Well i guess you weren't that much of a fuck up after you left" she said with a glare before practically pushing past me to walk in and look at the house, "its clean, and doesnt smell like trash.... you definitely finally grew up, no longer playing those stupid games are you?" She growls slightly with her arms crossed

I close the door and smile, "well i still play games in my free time, but no now im building them" i say with a chuckle, "he's my beta tester" i say as i point towards Anti with my thumb.

He merely smiles and nods

"Although you've been silent Ryan, how have things been since you were made manager of that store back in America" i ask my step dad but he simply shrugs

"Its the same, still not getting paid enough to support your mom and I" he says with a sigh

I nod and smile knowing he was full of shit, "well An- uh Sean, honey, can you keep them company while i check on dinner?" I ask Anti before kissing his cheek softly

Anti smiles, "of course princess" he says softly as he grabs my ass as i walk away, i turn back to glare at him in frustration and see my parents weren't paying attention as they were walking over to the couch. I sigh not wanting to make a scene and walk into the kitchen to check on the food. Luckily i have to spend a bit of time in there to get other things ready that dont take as long as what was in the oven.

Lonely lovers (Antisepticeye x Reader)Where stories live. Discover now