The Feminine Arts

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Chapter 25: Piper

"This isn't working," I blurted out. Well, that wasn't exactly what I'd planned.

"Well, hello to you, too," Elena chuckled from the other end, "What are you talking about?"

"Liv's plan," I sighed, "I can't do this... I love her to death, but Liv's idea of flirting is just a little beyond me. I don't know how to wink at someone and make it look 'sultry' instead of like my eye is twitching, I can't speak sexy, I can't be..."

"Like Liv," Elena volunteered, "Hold on a second." I heard her murmur something and a muffled, but distinctly male voice responded.

"What was that about?" I questioned when she came back on the line.

"Oh," she answered with a nervous giggle, "I'm kind of on a date. With, um, Steven... like... right now."

"And you didn't think to tell me?!" I exclaimed, "Are both of my best friends keeping secrets from me? I mean, geez, don't you think this is important information to share?"

"Sorry," she mumbled, "To be fair, you've been keeping your fair share of secrets, too."

"Wh-what do you mean?" I stammered, my throat going dry. My hand reached up unconsciously to touch the fresh bruise on my jaw. Did she know?

"Well, for one, there was your little trip to the championship game on Friday night," she replied.

"Oh," I breathed a little sigh of relief. Thank god!

"Yeah, Steven told me all about that," she answered, "He said you couldn't keep your eyes off of Justin, even though he looked... um, bad. Hey!"

"Actually, I said he looked like shit," Steven said, his voice crackling over the line.

"Okay, thanks for the clarification," I grumbled, "But it doesn't matter. He looked fine."

"I'm sure he did," Steven agreed with a chuckle, "To you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, "Ugh, nevermind, just give the phone back to Elena!"

"Sure thing," he replied. A static sound came from my speakers as he handed the phone off and I had the passing thought that I needed to get a better phone.

"Sorry about that," Elena muttered, "He's annoying sometimes, but I forgive him because he's just so damn cute."

"So how long have you two been together?" I asked. From how comfortable they seemed to be with each other, I was guessing it had been a while.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "Keep your voice down!"

"I didn't even -" I started to protest, but Elena quickly cut me off.

"We haven't really defined anything yet," she explained in a whisper, "I don't want to run him off."

"Okay, fine," I said exasperatedly, "Then how many dates have you two gone on?"

"Like twelve," she answered meekly. I was silent, my brain trying to process what she was saying and she started blurting out everything, "Maybe thirteen, but I think the first one we went out as friends... and I mean the fifth one was more hanging out at my house than an actual date... he didn't kiss me until the third one so maybe the other two didn't count... But I think it was twelve. Probably. Maybe. Kind of. Um, Piper?"

"Twelve?!" I repeated incredulously, "And you didn't think that was something worth sharing? When were you planning on telling me about this? Were you just going to show up at my house three years from now, flash me the ring and say 'oh, by the way, Steven and I are engaged, will you be my bridesmaid?'"

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