A Heart's Desire

Chapter 10

Sexy

Another of Kellan's nightmares woke her in the wee hours. She heard him yell, sleep gritting her eyes as she sat up on the couch. She blinked, disconcerted a moment before he did it again, this time accompanied by a hoarse scream. She leapt to her feet and rushed across the room, stumbling against the furniture. Wrenching the bedroom door open, she paused, wondering the best way to approach him and wake him up. She wasn't stupid; she knew waking someone out of the middle of a night terror was probably not a good idea. But at the same time, her heart wrenched watching him wallow in the grip of his dream, trapped in his mind.

Grabbing the broom from the kitchen, she hesitantly stepped inside the bedroom and creeped over to the bed. Holding the broom out, she poked him with the wooden end. "Kellan, wake up," she called, steadily poking him.

His eyes flew open and with a wounded cry and wild eyes he lunged at her. Eva shrieked. She couldn't help it, even though she was kind of expecting that reaction. She ducked and watched as pain twisted his face and he dropped to the floor, moaning. He lay there shivering and twitching on the floor while Eva cautiously watched him. His eyes squeezed shut and he curled up in a ball, clutching his leg. Eva approached him slowly, like he was a wounded animal. When she laid her hand on his back, he tensed and jerked to look at her, his eyes wide, scared, and vulnerable.

"Shhh," she murmured, "It's okay. I've got you."

He moaned, his eyes staring at her wanting, needing something, but not really seeing her. Eva wondered where he was trapped. What had his mind that focused he couldn't even see her. She slid her hands up his back soothingly. "I've got you. You're okay," she whispered, tugging him closer.

He wound up half in and half out of her lap, clutching on to her for dear life, his arms wrapping around her and gripping onto her tightly. "It was just a dream," she kept up a running diatribe, "It's over. It's gone. I'm here."

She ran her hands over his back, rubbing gently, and stroking his hair too. He kept making strange wounded sounds that tore her heart apart. He would nod off to sleep and then jerk himself away, startling her as she held him.

"Let's get you back to bed, baby," she said softly, not even aware of the endearment, "Come on, Kellan."

She started to move and his noise of protest made her smile sadly as he looked up at her. Tugging on his arm, he immediately made to follow her, struggling to get to his feet. Thankfully, he hadn't fallen far from the bed. Eva got him back in the bed, but he wouldn't let go of her. Eva slid into bed with him, too busy talking to him and comforting him to feel awkward. He needed her. She kept talking to him softly, pulling him close and cradling his head to her chest, wrapping him up in her arms. She watched his eyes finally close as he fell back asleep and kept running her fingers through his hair gently, hoping it was soothing.

It was almost light when she fell asleep next to him, her hand tangled in his hair.

Kellan woke the next morning, a sense of soreness pervading his body and soul. He felt like he had been dragged through hell and back mentally. Eva's scent invaded his senses demanding to be acknowledged and he forgot about feeling so abused. He felt her arms around him and was acutely aware of how close they were. The feeling of safety and home made him tighten the grip he had on her shirt as if he could grasp hold of it and hang on. He squeezed his eyes closed tighter, the night before's events flooding back in a rush, making him red with embarrassment. She had seen him at his weakest, caught in the vice of a night terror. He froze in terror. He had lashed out at her. Was she hurt?

He twisted slightly, needing to see her face, and winced as he pulled something near his gunshot wound. She looked okay, her eyes still closed in slumber, her lips red and pouty. He stared at her a moment, before his moving made her frown slightly in her sleep, and hesitantly he laid back down, intending to enjoy the warm embrace as long as she was offering.

Damn, he wanted her. Not just a physical thing anymore. She hadn't left him to thrash with his demons. Instead she had battled them with him and vanquished them with her presence. he felt his heart squeeze painfully. He felt her shift and knew she was awake. He kept his eyes closed, slightly embarrassed still about the night before and not quite ready to face her, as she slowly eased out of his grip. What if he opened his eyes and saw pity on her face? He didn't know if he could handle that.

He didn't want her pity. He felt warm lips against his forehead and a soft hand smoothing his hair and turned into her touch before he could help himself. His breathing was steady and she thought him still asleep as she quietly made her way to the bathroom. A few minutes later, Kellan opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling miserably. He felt cold without her beside him.

Eva washed her face and stared at her reflection in the mirror above the sink a moment. She looked tired. Her thoughts churned. Kellan was nearly well enough to move and they probably needed to start soon. The longer they stayed in one place, the bigger the chance that something could go terribly wrong. Like Shelby speaking up, or the dirty cops showing up at her front door.

No the easy part was nearly over. She didn't know where Kellan was going to go, and she was beginning to doubt if she should go with him. She was small. What could she possibly do to help him? In a fight she would be useless. Perhaps when he went to court, as he would inevitably do, she could help him then. Her family influence and money could get him a good lawyer. Her heart twisted at leaving him alone to run. And where would she stay in the meantime? She could run to her parents but what if they didn't heed her judgment and turned Kellan in?

She walked back into the bedroom, her face twisted in thought. She looked up and caught the intense gaze of Kellan. He was standing shakily, one hand clutching the window frame as he turned to stare at her from where he had been looking out at the neighborhood. The bandage around his shoulder and leg did nothing to take away from the man's masculinity. He was handsome and made Eva feel like a dwarf. He had a least a good six inches of height on her and not to mention the amount of muscle he was packing. She awkwardly went to stand by him and gaze out at the snow. "I need to leave soon," he said, his voice rough.

He cleared his throat and she nodded. "I know," she said softly, "Where will you go?"

For a moment he didn't answer her. "I don't know," he finally said softly.

Eva felt her heart squeeze again and gently laid her hand on his arm before she could stop herself.  She was surprised when his hand came up to cover hers. She felt heat rise to her face as his fingers twined with hers and he held their hands closed to his chest in a tight grasp. She longed to tell him he wasn't alone, that she would go with him, but the words got stuck in her throat. He turned to look at her, but she couldn't face him.

"I'll leave after dark."

Then he turned, loosing her hand from his grasp and limped heavily back to the bed.

.....

Eva is having anxiety about her impulse decisions and to be honest I don't blame her.

Welcome back Wildies! It's been a long time since I've updated this book but I'm loving getting back into the swing of things.

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Sincerely,

Scarlett McLeod