Voir Dire (N.H.)

nine

"Where were you last night?" Becca exclaimed with a raise of an eyebrow as soon as Kelsey stepped in the apartment door. Becca was seated on the couch, legs up in the air and latest tabloid open upon her chest. Her date nowhere to be seen.

"Jeez can I get in the door?" Kelsey said with a laugh, slipping off her heels before sauntering over to set her purse on the kitchen counter. Becca eyed her as she walked, and Kelsey didn't have to look her way to know her roommate had a lot to say.

"Is that..." Becca began, gesturing to the black hoodie still adorning Kelsey's body. Kelsey looked down at the soft black fabric, she'd nearly forgotten it wasn't her own. She nodded, which triggered a high-pitched squeal to be released from Becca's mouth.

"Oh my god Kels, I can't believe it. You really did it."

"Did what?" Kelsey asked, even though she knew exactly what she had done. It was shocking even to her, the girl that had sworn off the male species. And just as shockingly, Kelsey wasn't regretting it. She felt strangely empowered, like she was reinventing herself.

"You know exactly what," Becca laughed. "You are glowing girl, I haven't seen you this happy since..." Becca stopped her sentence before finishing.

Kelsey didn't need her to finish. That sentence ends with a name. Sam. And that happiness had been a long time ago. That happiness was before Kelsey realized what a lying, cheating scumbag Sam Harris was. Back in the honeymoon phase when Kelsey thought she had found the perfect man.

Kelsey didn't want to hear Becca compare her evening with Niall to her relationship with Sam. Just the mention of her deceitfully perfect former relationship had enough negative thoughts associated with it to ruin anything in its path.

"Sorry," Becca said shyly. "I'm just really glad that you enjoyed yourself. You deserve it you know."

Kelsey smiled. Becca was right, she did deserve to have a night like that on occasion. Something to make her feel like her life wasn't absolutely in shambles, even if only for a few hours.

"So are you going to see him again?" Becca inquired.

"Niall?" Kelsey asked, eliciting an eye roll from Becca.

"No I was asking about the bouncer from last night, yes Niall."

"I don't think so..." Kelsey trailed off. She thought about the contact that now took up a space in her phone, the one that could keep her touch with Niall if she ever so wished.

"Wait don't tell me he's one of those celebrities that takes home a different girl every night, he seemed so normal last night."

"No, no," Kelsey instantly found herself coming to Niall's defense. Even in the short time she had spent with Niall she was certain that he wasn't that kind of guy. No, Kelsey believed Niall to be someone who didn't want to use his fame as an advantage. If anything, he wanted to be seen as just another guy.

"It was more that you know, neither of us were really looking for anything serious," Kelsey explained.

"You mean YOU aren't ready for anything serious," Becca corrected her. Kelsey sighed, while Becca wasn't completely wrong, her departure from Niall's place this morning had shown a mutual understanding of the situation. She'd gotten the vibe that he wasn't exactly available either.

"I may not be ready for it," Kelsey reluctantly admitted. "But we both agreed, the timing is not right...for either of us."

Becca let out an overdramatic groan. Kelsey turned her head to her friend, ready to hear whatever lecture she was about to give. "What now?"

"You do know Kelsey's 'the timing's not right' excuse is like the most bullshit excuse in the world." Becca sat up from the couch leaning towards Kelsey as if she is reading to give her her piece of mind.

"There are only two reasons you use the "timing's not right excuse", the first being you can't bear to admit the true reason things aren't working out and you need to let them down slowly. The other being there is literally no other sane reason you would be stupid enough to let something like that go, so you need some kind of poor justification as to why things aren't working out," Becca paused for dramatic effect.

"And judging by the way you are glowing you definitely aren't using it for the first reason."

Kelsey rolled her eyes at her friend's lecture. "Don't act like you've never used that excuse before."

"I've used it many times. But believe me Kelsey, I've done the timing's not right excuse and I let the love of my life slip from my fingers." Becca stared distantly off into space, as if she was reflecting upon all her past mistakes.

"Is this about Johann?" Kelsey laughed.

Johann was a Danish boy Becca couldn't stop raving about from her senior year euro trip. She'd met him "at the foot of the Eiffel Tower" and spent a mere 48 hours with him before leaving on a train to her next destination. They'd exchanged numbers, become friends on Facebook, but soon fell out of touch.

"It might be," Becca replied shyly.

Kelsey chuckled.

"Hey you weren't there Kelsey, you have no idea the connection that we had. I never should have gotten on that train."

"But in all honesty Kels," Becca continued. "If you are going to take one thing away from my could have been European romance, be it that if you have a connection with someone don't waste it."

"Noted," Kelsey said with defeat. "But for now I think I'll stick with the theory that this was a one time occurrence. I'm not cut out to be a celebrity girlfriend anyway. Now speaking of connections..." Kelsey raised her eyebrows. "What happened with the connection that seemed to be going on in the club last night?"

"Oh that," Becca laughed as though she had already forgotten about the night before. She smiles coyly, "It was good. I definitely would be up for seeing him again."

"That's all I get? You interrogate me for every little detail of my night but only want to reveal "good" about yours?" Kelsey rolled her eyes at her friend.

"I mean he's no celebrity Kelsey," Becca laughed. "But the attraction was definitely there."

"And..." Kelsey prodded her roommate for more details.

"And I think we should go on double date," Kelsey rolled her eyes again, seeing this was going nowhere.

"Becca..." she protested.

"Okay, okay, fine," Becca sighed. "But please Kelsey, at least consider the possibility of seeing Niall again? It's good to see you happy."

"I'll consider it," Kelsey groaned, which resulted in a small smile of triumph on Becca's face. But Kelsey knew her consideration had already been done. Seeing Niall Horan again would only lead her to become attached. And becoming attached to someone was the last thing she wanted to do.

So Niall Horan would become nothing more than a spontaneous decision and a memorable night- and that was all there was to it.