Voir Dire (N.H.)

twenty-eight

Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months. And soon, Niall's name no longer flashed across Kelsey's screen.

Kelsey wanted to feel relieved that the temptation was no longer there. That she wouldn't have to feel a shockwave through her body every time her notifications brought up his number. She knew that was what she needed. She needed to forget about him. But a part of her longed for the reminders that even after she'd broken his heart, he was still thinking about her. Because it was those messages that had reminded her that she wasn't the only one that couldn't move on.

Soon, Kelsey locked any thoughts of Niall deep in the back of her mind. If she didn't think about him she didn't miss him. She didn't wonder what might have happened had she chosen not to sign that paper. She didn't wonder if she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had been more successful at keeping her Niall thoughts at bay than she thought she would be- apart from when a video of Niall's smashed Range Rover came across the Inside Edition episode Becca happened to be watching one night. When Kelsey saw that her heart had dropped in her chest, and all she wanted, more than anything, was to pick up her phone and make sure he was okay. All she wanted was to snuggle up next to him, and nurse him back to health and spend a week just watching movies. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't do any of that. And instead she had to spend hours that night searching the internet for the news that she so desperately needed to hear. That he was okay.

So when she caught Niall's icy blue eyes gazing at her from a glossy magazine cover in the grocery store checkout line, she tried to ignore it. She tried to pretend that it was the face of anyone else. Anyone but the man that despite her best efforts still had a grip on her heart. But she couldn't bring her eyes away, because there on the cover was a picture of Niall and Krystal, and one word in big bold white letters that made Kelsey's stomach drop. Baby.

Kelsey felt her palms begin to sweat, her heart begin to race, and the taste of bile climb up her throat. Yes, she and Niall had been over for a few months. But only a few- well four if you wanted to be exact.

Four months and he was already having a baby with her? Really?

Meanwhile, Kelsey couldn't even think about dating. She couldn't even look at a guy without thinking of the one that got away- or more accurately, the one that she let go of.

Kelsey wanted to believe that this was all just another publicity stunt. She knew the ends that Capitol Records would go to to get what they wanted. It wouldn't be that far-fetched, a pregnancy to keep the romance narrative going. But then she began to think about why Niall would need more publicity in the first place. The album was out, the tour was announced, there was absolutely no reason that the label would need this kind of attention from the two of them. In fact, Kelsey had thought that perhaps by now Niall and Krystal would be done. The conditions of their contract fulfilled, their relationship no more.

Clearly Kelsey had everything wrong -especially Niall.

"Did you want one of those ma'am?" the cashier, who looked like he was all but about twelve years old asked, gesturing towards the glossy piece of tabloid that Kelsey somehow now held in her hand. Did she want one? Was he serious?

"I don't buy trash," Kelsey snapped, quickly attempting to shove the magazine back into the slot where it came from. She used a bit too much force and instead of the offending piece of what could barely be called journalism returning to its spot on the shelf, several more magazines fell to floor, as if they were taunting her.

"God dammit Niall," Kelsey muttered a little too loudly. The cashier looked at her with concerned eyes, obviously wondering what on earth had caused the crazy woman in front of him to lash out at a stack of magazines.