Shallow Ocean

1. Vodka and Car sirens

I thought back on the day, caressing my innermost thoughts with one hand. I lay my head back against my pillow and plug in my headphones to my iPod. Vic Fuentes' soft voice rang in my ears. Kissing in cars.

I smiled and hummed along as my attention switched, again. To my mind. I took a slow deep breath in and out as I let my emotions take control. I felt them with such intensity that built up throughout the day.

My hands clutched the sheet on my bed as I growled with anger. My weak fists gripped the sheet tightly. I frowned when, my thoughts slowly shifted to all the things that had angered me throughout the day. Harsh words, cruel glances, bitter memories, they all cut deep, into my very soul.

Next was sadness, grief coming over me like a wave. I'm never sure how to handle this. So, I just fall deep within the jaws of the tiger. It tears at my flesh and spirit. I felt my legs leave the bed, but I was to dazed to see where I was going. My head felt like a cloud was blocking any sense, and stability that I had established over the years. I felt my hands grasp something, but again saw nothing. The sensation was drawn to my lips. I felt fire.

I felt my feet move, again.

A fog clouded my mind. I heard distant noises but felt nothing. I had grown completely numb.

A honk of a horn brought me back to my senses, although they were not completely there. I looked around me and there I stood on my balcony. One leg over the railing while my fingers gripped a bottle. It was a bottle of Vodka. I looked at the 75% empty bottle and drank the rest of it. I frowned when the numb feeling didn't come back. Now all I felt was pain, pure, raw, pain. I felt tears spring into my eyes as I drew my other leg over the side. My drunken mind screamed jump. I looked down at the rough city traffic. Jump city.

I smiled spreading my arms beside me. I didn't care if I fell. I wanted to fall.

With one last glance at my apartment, I made my decision. I scooted forward.

"Bye world, you've been a bitch." I whispered and let myself fall. I smiled as the wind whipped around me. I waited for my body to hit the ground.

But, it never did.

The next thing I knew there were arms around me and they held me tight. Tears slipped out of my eyes. "Am I dead, yet?" I softly whispered. My voice cracked.

"No." I heard a voice whisper in response. He sounded like an angel. My chest rose and fell as sobs racked my body. The angel rocked me back and forth as he held me, tightly. He smoothed down my hair and rubbed tiny circles in my back. "It's gonna be okay. Shh. It'll be alright."