Forever? Forever.

V

Music not sure why I listen to it. Maybe people need music as an escape. A sappy love song plays on the radio. I sigh flopping down on my messy bed with boring white comforters and boring blue pillow. Every story need an introduction well here it is.

My name is V not sure what is stands for. I asked my parents but my moms too much of an alcoholic to remember and my dad living 858 miles away from this cruddy town. My parents got divorced 3 years ago, near the end of my Junior year of highschool. I live in Utah, a cruddy state I tell you. Boring as watching paint dry its one of those states.

Along with introduction I guess I'm supposed to tell you what I look like. I'm 19 years old blue hair that ends at the nape of my neck my bangs covering half of my right eye the underside of my hair black as a crows feathers. People say tattoos and guages aren't the smartest idea. A boy like me with half an inch guages and a arm sleeve of tattoos. They all have a special meaning to me, tiny piece of art right on my arm. I never did get to go to college because of my drunken mom and my dad who thinks I'm a lost cause got. I decided to stay with my mom because she needed me more.

"My name is V" I say to no one particular. This is how I used to introduce myself to people. And then someone will ask me why I don't have a last name or what my full name is.

"well you see my parents got lazy and they just wrote V on my birth certificate" then I'll continue on

"I'm a pretty cool guy I would say so myself" I didn't have guages or tattoos in highschool but I still have my rocking electric blue hair shorter then it is now. "If you have anything against my blue hair then come and say it to my face." I would then point to my amethyst purple eyes. My eyes are my greatest sight even in the dark I can see like a hawk.

This is about the time when the teacher will ask where I was born and such.

"well to be honest I was born in Georgia and when I was 5 my parents moved to Utah because something happened over there. They never told me what happened" I remember when I was 5 not a single hell of a care in the world. Ha I was normal and happy back then. My mom wasn't drunk and my dad never fought but things change. It was so bad that in the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of my mom crying. She tries to cover her bruises up but I know they're there.

Then I'll start talking about my hobbies.

"I like playing video games like all teenager males my age, I like to read mostly sci-fi adventure novals that take place in the future, I also like fishing, and I really enjoy just listening to music" A few of the girls would look at me all dreamily and such I didn't have any girlfriends in highschool dated a few times but didn't have an actual girlfriend and I still don't have one.

The teacher as usual will ask if there's anything else you'll like to tell us.

"there is one thing what I hope to become in the near future. I want to be a medical scientist of some sorts. My sister has this rare blood disease and she's in the hospital right now and I want to try to find a cure for her so that one day she can walk outside and not have to be stuck in a hospital bed for the rest of her life." My sister passed away 2 years ago. I'm still phased by it Lia was her name. She had black hair the color of coal and bright green eyes like the grass she dreams of playing in. She was only 11 when she died. Life is just like that a cruel realization that not everything is going to go your way and in the end it's all going to crumble.

Then I would bow and take my seat. Everytime I tell that story my I break a little more on the inside. I could of saved her if only I could of been quick enough. I was visiting her one Saturday afternoon. I brought her a bouquet of daisies, her favorite. Suddenly she started shaking voilently in her bed. She looked at me, her happy green eyes scared and panicing. Yet she smiles at me.

"V don't go and call the doctors or nurses or anyone. Fate decided it was my turn to go bye. V don't worry I'll come visit you everyday thats a promise. Even if you can't see me or hear me I'll be there. I knew I wasn't going to live much longer. V I love you and I always will. Mom and dad loved you too your not a lose cause you never were. They just didn't understand. I feel sleepy V" I held onto her hand tightly I didn't want her to go. She was my joy me happiness the thing that gave me strength to get out of bed each morning.

"Lia, I love you too. I'll be waiting for you everyday then" I kissed her forhead and stared at her green eyes. I smiled back at her. She would always tell me to keep on smiling no matter what, because if you don't then Mister Grumpypants the trash monster will steal away your happiness. 5 minuntes passed with her eyes closed her hand went limp in my hand. I collapsed to my knees and wept like a small child. Like how I used to cry on the playground when I got bullied. Lia was always there even if she was smaller then me. She would always chase the bullies away. God, I was such a crybaby back then.

After I was done with my introduction, I would go to my seat. I wasn't trying to impress anyone or have anyone cry over me. I just wanted someone to know who I am. One day I'm not going to be on this earth and I just want someone to know who V the boy with blue hair was.

I continue walking down a broken side walk in the nasty downtown part of Utah just past Salt Lake City. That's where I live. I reach out to a brown apartment, shit brown to be exact not a very pretty color. The window to the apartment my mom and I live in is cracked open. It always is cracked open for my drunk lazy mom to throw her Bud Lite bottles or whatever alcohol she fancies her self with out the window. the window lock is broken along with a few cracks in the window. I wonder why no one has broken in, oh right it's 4 stories up and there luckily isn't a escape ladder of sorts.

I unlock the white paint chipped door to my apartment. I call it mine because I'm the one providing for this beat up family now. The handle painted silver to appear as new but it sure ain't looking new now. I stumble with my keys trying to find the right one. I have 5 right now 1 for my car another for my dads house 1 for the apartment 1 from Lia and 1 from a friend I had long ago.

Friends just come and go like paper. Some friends are like paper they are used and then thrown away I am one of those tragic friends. I used to have a best friend we were inseperable. Twins some people would call us. We had the same hobbies and sometimes by accident we would show up to school in the same clothes. His name was Ty. Simple like my name, he had really pretty dirty blond hair. I can't remember what hair color I had then I was about 10, Lia was about 4 then.

We would always come to my house and play some Legend of Zelda on the NES. Sometimes we would play with Lia and watch as she fell over when she tried to walk. My mom would always bake us cookies like gram gram always does. I like calling my grandma gram gram not sure why I guess I just couldn't pronounce it at the time so it just suck.

Ty had blue eyes as clear as sky. He had freckles all over his face. We would do everything todether, fish, go camping, walk to the store, even just who knows what. We lived a block away from each other. He moved 4 years later when I was a freshman. Cried for a week.

I hesitate putting the key into the lock. I stare at Ty's key the black one with a red dragon on it. I once stabbed myself on accident with it so the tip of it is slightly stained red. I shove the key into the lock. Even though I know the door will be open because my drunk mother doesn't gave a fuck about if someone randomly comes into our apartment and stabs her in the middle of the night.

I pull the key out and place my fingers around the knob. If I open the door like any other normal day. My mom will throw a empty beer bottle at me which smashes against the wall next to me and breaks into a million pieces and then she'll yel at me telling me I was the reason dad left that I'm just a worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this world.

I know mom didn't mean it she's just drunk like every other day, but the words still hurt. I need to be here though my mom needs me more then ever. She started drinking when she and dad started fighting. I open the door breathing wondering what she'll yell at me today.