Chapter 1

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I put the key in the door lock, but the door isn't locked. That's weird, I could have sworn I locked it.

"Hello?" I shout, but no answer.

Confused, I walk to my living room. Post, post and post, when is my mother going to pay the bills? I place the pile of post back on the table and walk to the little hall, where our shoes are. That's strange, Emiel's shoes are present, while he no longer lives here.

"Emiel?" I shout to upstairs, but again no answer.

I take off my own shoes, together with my jacket. It's cold in the house, much colder than usual. I walk to the thermostat, but it says 20 degrees Celsius, but why does it feel colder?

I hurry upstairs, all the lights are out. If Emiel were really here, the lights would be on. I head to the bathroom and throw some water in my face, something is wrong.

Tired I walk to my room and place my backpack on my desk. I turn around to my bed and see a letter on my pillow. Amazingly I grab the letter and recognize the handwriting immediately. Him.

No. This can not be true. I rush to the other side of the house, and my biggest nightmare becomes reality.

Him, such a small word, but so many memories...

I wake up in my own sweat. Panicked I look around me and realize where I am, I have fallen asleep on the couch. My heart beats like crazy. I relive this every time, every dream is about him.

"Rose?" my mother asks confusingly, her voice sounds sleepy.

I look up and see her standing in the doorway. "Yes, sorry, I fell asleep on the couch" I say softly.

She nods. "Go to bed, quickly."

I get up and rub in my eyes. "Sleep well" I say, and walk on to my room.

Once in my room, I let myself fall down on my bed and look at the ceiling. Why do I keep thinking about him? He destroyed my life...

I slowly open my eyes, because I am awakened by a sound. I look aside, and see that my alarm goes off. "Seriously? Already 7 o'clock in the morning?" I sigh and hit my alarm.

I get out of bed, put on my bathrobe, slowly walk to my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look tired, but enthusiastic. Today is finally the day I go to Delaware. I didn't sleep all night, because I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I turn on the shower, and in between I quickly grab my clothes. I'm going to wear a pink sweater with high waisted black trousers. When the shower is warm enough, I step under it. The warm rays feel great against my cold skin. I still can't contain it, I'm leaving Washington today for Delaware. It has always been my dream to be able to study there, when they gave me a scholarship I didn't know what to say.

I wash my hair and then my body, after 15 minutes I turn off the shower. I put on my clothes and comb my hair. I walk back to my room, which is very empty without all my stuff, and blow-dry my hair.

I look at myself in the mirror. I pull my blond hair in a ponytail. My ocean blue eyes come out well in the light that shines into my room. Not long ago I had a helix pierced, which fortunately heals well. I swing my ponytail back and forth and tuck loose strands that didn't fit in my ponytail behind my ear. I lick my lips, grab my lip gloss, apply it and rub my lips together to spread the gloss well.

On my right hand I wear a silver ring with a little diamond in the middle, it was a gift from him. With my index finger and thumb of my left hand I play with the ornament, it's all I have left of him. I hear someone knocking on my door and look up.

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