There's A Honey (Wayhaught)

Wanna Be Missed

After a few hours of the three of us hanging out in Nicole's dorm, Robin decided to leave us alone. We insisted that he stay, but he refused saying that we need some alone time. Which, he's absolutely right, but it feels odd leaving him by himself while Nicole and I just hang out in her dorm! It doesn't feel like we're being good friends.

Yet, here I sit, with Nicole... In an empty and shockingly quiet dorm room.

I couldn't quite pinpoint exactly why this felt so awkward? But I had a feeling that it had something to do with the fact Nicole has been sort of... distant lately. Yeah. Since our last time visiting each other, Nicole has been too busy to really talk to me. We'd occasionally text throughout the day, but she'd sometimes take a while to reply, and when I'd want to talk on the phone, she'd be studying or something.

I know it's totally plausible that she'd have to study, so she wouldn't be able to stay up late with me or whatever, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I'm probably just overreacting...

"So..." Nicole spoke, pulling me out of my perfectly reasonable, but also totally unreasonable, thoughts. "What do you wanna do?" She asked, putting her arm around my shoulders.
I leaned into her instinctively and gave a shrug. "Honestly, I just wanna be with you. It doesn't really matter to me what we do." And that was true. I did just want to be with her, but I also wanted to know that she wanted that, too.
"Okay, well, we can watch something on Netflix?" She suggested.

Netflix? Again? I scoffed unintentionally loud and shook my head. I couldn't believe her. We hadn't seen each other in two months and all she wanted to do was the exact thing we'd done two months ago??

Nicole seemed to catch on to my apprehension and sighed heavily, moving her arm from my shoulders and scooting away. "Guess not. Never mind," she muttered.
"What do you mean never mind? And why are you scooting away from me?" I asked, sounding snappier than I'd intended as I turned to look at her. She looked irritated and upset all at once and it made me feel bad.
Nicole scoffed, turning her head to look at me, her eyes narrowing at me. "What do you mean? You just said that you don't care what we do, but when I suggest something you act like it's a stupid idea!"
"I never said it was a stupid idea!" What the hell is she talking about??
"Oh, really? Waverly, you scoffed like it was the most ridiculous thing you'd ever heard."
"Because it's exactly what we did the last time we hung out-- which was TWO MONTHS AGO, NICOLE!!" I yelled at her, standing up from her bed and folding my arms across my chest. "Do you not wanna touch me? Is that what's going on?" I was pissed off, and I wasn't completely sure why.

Nicole flinched at my yelling but stayed in her spot on the bed. She looked at me like I was absolutely insane, which definitely didn't help the situation.

"Are you serious? Do you even hear yourself? What are you talking about?? I never said I didn't wanna touch you, where is this coming from?" Nicole all but yelled back, her eyebrows furrowing with confusion.
"We haven't seen each other in two months," I reminded her loudly.
"I'm aware," Nicole snapped. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Tears welled up in my eyes, making it harder for me to keep up my anger. Nicole's eyes softened at the sight of the tears. "We haven't seen each other in two months. We haven't talked on the phone, we haven't Skyped. Nothing. And now I'm here... and all you wanna do is watch Netflix. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Nicole stood up and cuffed my face in her hands. I closed my eyes and held onto her wrists, tears still streaming down my cheeks. Nicole's thumbs wiped the tears away and I could have melted into her hands. I don't know why I was crying... I should have been happy to just sit and watch Netflix with her.

"Baby... I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to." She whispered, her thumbs caressing my cheeks.
I shook my head, opening my eyes to look at her. I scanned her face and she really meant it. She really was sorry. "I know you didn't... I just... I wanna know."
"You wanna know what?"
"Why you haven't been talking to me... why we haven't seen each other."
Nicole sighed, her hands sliding down to my shoulders. My hands moved from her wrists to her forearms, and she closed her eyes for a second before opening them again. "Things have been really hard for me here. Classes are stressful, and then I was being dragged out to parties. I just didn't have time to keep up with everything and talk to you at the same time. I know I should have put you first, but things have been getting pretty hectic around here."
As soon as the words left her mouth, I felt like shit. I know I should have put you first... I told her when she left that I wasn't gonna get in the way, yet here I am... Getting in the way. "No," I told her.