Rapmon X Depressed Suicidal Idol Reader

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This was requested by someone but I don't remember who I'm sorry 😔 but hope you enjoy also authors note at the end also sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes
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Did I want to be an Idol yes, was I ready for all the popularity, I thought I was but, I was never ready for all the rest that came. I came to the studio I didn't want to be a Idol anymore I didn't want to be a star in the spotlight any more. The only reason I'm still here is that I signed that stupid contract and I gotta eat. "Y/N WHY ARE YOU LATE AGAIN THIS IS THE 4th TIME THIS WEEK!!" " I'm sorry." I looked down sheepishly and hoped I didn't get yelled at any more "God your useless." he was right I was useless. "Come on we have to get your dance down before the Melon awards tomorrow even though you won't win anything." I simply nodded my head and got to work, we finally finished after eight hours because I kept messing up but I got through it. "Go home and get some rest and eat something can't have you look like a zombie and ruin our reputation." So i did just that I went home, ate something and went to bed.

Time Skip

There was so much noise and running around, but finally everyone got settled down and I got to my seat which was right next to Namjoon of BTS honestly fml but at least they won't talk to me right.

Wrong. 

They messed up the seating so NCT didn't have enough seat so Namjoon, Suga and Jimin decided to give up there seat and take some of the seats at my table but, for some reason Namjoon decided to stay

"Hey you looked lonely, is it ok if I stay and sit with you"

"I don't mind"

He sat down and continued the show I looked around just in time to see my manager stomping angrily towards me she came up o me and tried to whisper in my ear but i'm sure every table around me heard

"I swear if you get in a scandal and ruin the business I will put you back in the street now get your ass up to the stage and dance"

I nodded and walked back stage to get read. When I saw my outfit I freaked out

"Umm excuse me is there any chance I could get longer pants."

"Why?"

"I um dont want them to ride up to much."

That was the truth but you would also be able to see my scars which was not going to happen on live TV noooo way.

"Im sorry but we don't have any longer pants you'll just have to make due."

Great

I put it on anyway pulling it down as low as it would go but still making sure it looked nice

"Ok your on"

I walked on stage and got ready this wasn't the song I wanted to sing but I had to that what the company said honestly the backup dancers did way better but hey what can you do (dance at the top 1st one only middle girl but in shorts)

After I got done I didn't get a chance to change so I had to go out in the same outfit I got back to my table and sat down Namjoon leaned over to me

"Why would you do that to yourself"

I knew what he was talking about

"I want to be a Zebra even though no one cares"

He grabbed my wrist and brought me somewhere

"How long"

"About 2-4 years"

Next thing I knew he hugged me I don't know why but I hugged him back and we stayed there for a long time

"I'll help you I promise"

————————————————————————- This was probably really bad I'm sorry but I hope you enjoy and I promise I'll update more I promise and I'll be putting out a new book and I hope you enjoy but also I need your help finding a book

It's about the mafia and the main characters are Dalilah and Ryder and Jackson and Kia the first chapters name is Girls night into girl night something like that I can't remember the author or book title so if you could help me find it I would greatly appreciate it

Lots of love ~

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