Heartbreak Fluorescence

chapter 4

WESTON

Dylan and Ivy started dating on the twenty-fifth of December, exactly on her birthday, and I just knew this on the twenty-fifth of January, after winter break-precisely a month after. I suppose everyone wants to know how I found out. It was easy. It was apparent now that I was Dylan's only friend, and he told me all the details that eventually led me to my destruction.

He took her out to an expensive sushi place (that I heard he's been saving money for so long for) and asked her to be his girlfriend after giving her the small Christmas tree on a pot. It's cute, and everyone is talking about it.

If it were me I'd didn't even have to save up for a month to take her to a sushi place. I won't even take her out to a sushi place here in Hong Kong. I'd take her to Japan, where we can eat them directly from the hand of the Itamaes.

It slapped-no-beat up the little ego I didn't know I had to shred. Dylan is now dating, and I am now heartbroken.

So she moved on from me. That didn't please me like I thought it would. Maybe I treated her like a spare plan. Like, if I got rejected by Valentina, Ivy would be there, maybe. Now she's with Dylan, and I don't have a spare companion.

The morning before class starts, I can see her from my locker ten feet away. Ivy and Dylan. Dylan and Ivy. She looks lovely with denim and even prettier that her hair is up and her head is thrown back, laughing at what Dylan said. It's probably another of his corny jokes, but she looked very genuine.

She was showing him her book collection. It never occurred to me that a girl like her is such a nerd for books. I like that about her, though.

Wait, no. I wasn't supposed to like her.

Oh my god, we haven't even properly talked yet but I treated her like shit already. And all that while admiring her?

I scoffed, my gaze probably patronizing them, burning holes that their bodies turn into ash but they didn't realize because they're already too deep into each other. I knew about her book collection (from Andrew who's gotten close to her in the past month) way before Dylan did.

Does that mean I know Ivy more than her own boyfriend does?

Maybe, but her eyes were on him, not me. The hand she's holding is his, not mine. At the end of the day, it's him she's thinking about.

I didn't realize I had been thinking about how beautiful she looked on lunch break before Felix clasped me out of my thoughts. He was standing beside me, slouching a little to meet me at the sitting level.

"She's taken, bro. Blink, would ya?" He laughed. "Her boyfriend's right there. Have some dignity, my guy."

"I wasn't-I wasn't looking at her."

He chortled, the sound of his laughter and chips bag clashing. "So were you looking at her cute little boyfriend?"

I narrowed my eyebrows, hoping he would stop. "What if it were her friends I was staring at, huh?"

"Her friends are right there," he pointed to a group of girls, each with a designer bag. "And she's right there at her corner with her little boyfriend," he cooed. "Cute, aren't they? He took her ice skating last week, and they met Andrew. So they went to the fro-yo place after, where they met me. I took them and Orion shopping afterward," he paused to take a sip on a water bottle I didn't know was there. "Ivy doesn't like Gucci, could you believe that?"

"She went with-she went with Andrew? And he didn't tell me? And you all went shopping?"

But then again, it's not like it's my business.

"Whoa, calm down, dude." Felix raised an arm, acting as if I'm about to flip off the table. "What's it got to do with you?"

When I fell silent, he sat down next to me, and I felt the calmness come back. "I've been your friend for so long and you didn't think to invite me as well?"

"So you like her," he chuckled. "Called it. Didn't you like the chick from the other day? The one we betted on?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Then can you explain why you're so angry all of a sudden?" Felix's tone was so calm and collected, a huge contrast to my own.

"No."

He sighed, exasperated. "I know she looks beautiful, okay? Heck, I don't know what's keeping them from announcing her as the world's most beautiful woman. Because she's not eighteen yet? Because she's Asian? I have no idea. You don't need to hide that you've fallen for a beauty like that. It's not embarrassing at all."

I grumbled, knowing it's true. "What about you? I refuse to believe you don't have anyone yet. Orion and Andrew even betted on us."

"Of course," he smiled. "This girl on the basketball team. Her name's Margareta but I call her Greta 'cause she likes it."

"Good for you, man. I think I know her," I peered up and smiled at him. "Oh, I saw you with her and her little brothers. You looking for approval from her family, bro?"

"Of course," he snickered. "After all, I'll be family too. Maybe," he chuckled. "One day."

I'm genuinely happy to see him happy too. He has the most precious kind of hope that I've ever seen. We've been friends for since I can remember, and I never want to lose that.

By the time Felix left, I shot another skeptical glance at Ivy's table again. She was holding her tote bag firmly in hand, ready to leave. She pecked Dylan's cheek goodbye and stood up, smiling.

I was mesmerized. I was mesmerized even before she was mine. And for a minute there, I completely regretted Valentina.

Make up your damn mind, Wes.

Her beautiful, dark eyes scanned the room and found mine in the crowd. She smiled at me, giving me a small wave. I waved back, memorizing the feeling of calmness when I saw her. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine what she smells like but by the time I opened my eyes, she was gone.

Make up your damn mind, Wes.

I already did.

I'm in love with her.