Good morning gorgeous ♥ Larry ~ Ziam ~ Zouis

Chapter 9

The picture to the right is so adorable! ♥ See the way Louis is smiling towards Zayn? Oh my apple pie, it's so frickin cute! ♥

Start reading my lovelies! Oh, and comment for god sake! ♥

--As always, put the music on! It's supposed to fit the story well... Hmph, I kind of like it! ♥--

LOUIS

Who the heck was "Mr Noops" and what had I ever bothered him with?

I thought as I finally was finished with reading the note. This guy sure wasn't scared to write down how he felt, that's for sure. And Harry? My hazza, he was actually crying at night and Zayn... Zayn was frickin cutting himself!

How could I not have noticed? Now that thought about it, it all became so obvious to me. Zayn had been wearing all kinds of wristbands for several weeks now, he hadn't even taken them of when swimming or at night. And yes, he was wearing long sleeve shirts even though it was boiling hot outside. Now, how could I not have seen this?

Tears were now streaming down my face, and I could feel the light salt taste of my tears on my lips, to be honest, I would very rarely cry. I feel so weak and small when crying. Actually, I haven't cried in several years. Not after what was my biggest tragedy in my life.

The memory of that just made me cry even harder.

It all happened about tree years ago, I suppose you could say I was one of those kids with low self esteem, one of those who never really fitted in, never had 'real friends' and to top it of - I just realized I was gay. I was determined to show my self I had gotten it wrong, that it just was my teenager hormones playing with me. But it was hopeless, I was gay, and in love. Oh, how I loved that boy. He was my age, tall, had lovely tan skin and golden blonde hair. I loved everything about him, the way he smelled, how he talked and the way he laughed. His laugh always made me smile wide.

We had been friends for ages and when I finally had the guts to tell him how I fell he confessed, to my surprise, that he liked me too.

I was so happy, so lucky and so very in love.

We spent the next weekend together alone in a small village, spending every awake hour together. Then, on our last day of our trip together, we decided to draw of towards a rather big cliff and go for a swim.

I remember the sun was shining brightly and the sky was cloud free. It was a perfect day for swimming, although the weather didn't at all match the horrible incident that would occur later that afernoon.

We were just about to start jump down from the huge cliff when William (His name was William, but I loved calling him Willie, it soothed him just perfectly) fell. Now, you know the feeling you get when you see something happen and it's just as if the time stops? Well, not in this case. Everything went so darn quickly and at first I just stood there helplessly staring down at the water underneath me. Willie wouldn't come up; he wouldn't wave at me and tell me he was fine as I hoped he would.

Willie sadly never came up again and I regret so badly just standing there, doing nothing but stare. It wasn't after it was too late I finally jumped and tried with all my energy to find him. I couldn't though; it was if he was just gone. I remember calling 911 as fast I could and the loud noise the sirens made when the ambulance came closer towards me. Willie was dead now, and it was all because of me. After the loss of Willie I cried, I cried as if I never cried before. I skipped school for months and all of my free time locked in my room, hardly eating nor sleeping, just crying helplessly. And since then I haven't cried. I promised myself not to. Crying was being weak, and being reminded of what had happened about Willie was more than I could stand.