Newtina Drabbles and One Shots

Just a Dream

Hello! Here is another one shot for your literary consumption. Enjoy!

Tina's POV

It started out as a day like any other. Queenie and I went to work, parting our separate ways once inside the magnificent building. Queenie made her way down into the dark batch of offices hidden in the basement while I journeyed up. I was glad to be free of the dull atmosphere, and while I remained slightly dejected on Queenie's behalf, I knew that her bubbly personality served as a great asset and helped her to find joy in the otherwise boring job.

Once I had joined up with the Investigative Team (thanks to Newt), the day's work began. We made advancements in cases of no-maj murders and looked into possible misuses of magic, that sort of thing. Although the job required a lot of strength, I enjoyed the work and felt that I was making my parents proud. At least I hoped I was. Queenie and I had been through a lot, but we rested in the comfort of our childhoods as well as each other. No matter what happened, we would get through it.

Unfortunately, life seemed more than willing to test my resolve. Only three months had passed since Newt's departure from New York when I received word of his engagement to a Miss Leta Lestrange. Despite Queenie's best intentions, I had discovered the article in one of her weekly magazines. My eyes scanned the text rapidly; I had never read something so furiously before, save for Newt's first letter addressed to me upon his arrival back home.

My instincts told me it was a lie, simple as that. After all, the information in question was taken from a magazine, not the most reliable of sources. This, combined with the fact that Newt hadn't included the slightest mention of Leta in any of his letters, caused me little worry. Yet there was a small part of me that wondered 'what if?'. What if Newt had rekindled his past relationship with Leta? What if the two of them were happy together? And worst of all, what if he was happier without me?

I scolded myself, first for thinking such sentimental thoughts, then for allowing Queenie to easily access these thoughts. They might as well have been floating in the air around us. I could tell she wanted nothing more than to remove the article from existence, but since that was not possible, she simply stood nearby watching me for any sign of heartbreak. After all, this was big news, regardless of whether or not it was the truth.

In the moments following my immediate exposure to the article on Newt's supposed engagement, I remained firm in my opinion. Soon, however, I realized that what I mistaked for confidence was little more than a facade, a thin wall I hid behind to pretend that the rumour wasn't true. It couldn't be... right? It seemed so out of the blue and without warning, though perhaps that wasn't as uncommon as it seemed. After all, one only needed a spark to reignite a flame, and Leta Lestrange was a very appealing spark.

Perhaps there was some truth to the article. Even a fool would consider Leta beautiful, and Newt had seemed to have quite an attachment to her. Ahh, seemed. Proof that whatever he felt for her was in the past. Unless... What if the rumour was true? I tried to return to my former beliefs, but to no avail. The thought had already infiltrated my mind, doubt filling the space where I previously stored confidence.

If the article was true, wouldn't Newt have sent me word of the matter? A heads-up at the very least? I sighed, hating the uncertainty of the situation. Would he have told me about reuniting with Leta? Perhaps he thought it better to say nothing, especially if he had doubts about the nature of our 'relationship'. With a sinking feeling in my heart, I came to a somewhat sober judgement: he didn't owe me anything. After all, we were just friends. Close friends who had saved the other's life within a 48-hour period, but close friends nonetheless.

In the past couple of months, we had sent several letters back and forth to each other. So what? It wasn't wrong to keep in touch with the person who had saved your life, was it? Despite my most heartfelt wishes, Newt had not formally "made a move" in person or in writing to indicate that we were a couple. Keeping that in mind, I had little evidence to support any possibility of "us" and therefore was left with no reason why he couldn't be with Leta. Why would he choose me when he could have her?

It was at this point in my thinking that Queenie interrupted, gushing with a plethora of reasons why Newt should be all over me and not spare a single thought towards Leta. I tried not to laugh. More importantly, I tried not to let my true thoughts be revealed. As much as I loved and appreciated my sister, Queenie didn't understand what it was like. Sure, she'd been through some hard times. We both had, and we'd faced them together. But someone as bright and beautiful as her, as beautiful as Leta, simply couldn't understand what it felt like to feel... less than. Not worthless, but worth less.

I had no excuse to feel such a way. Before our parents died, they had instilled a great number of values within Queenie and I. One such value was that we should always be aware of our own value. "Don't let anyone tell you what you're worth" my Daddy would say. "Whatever they come up with won't be enough. You're priceless, okay sweetie?" Mama would add, smiling brightly as she gave us a comforting squeeze. Their words were taken seriously and had great value during my youth, but never had they meant more than during these times in my adulthood where I felt so very invisible.

My own feelings aside, I returned to the matter at hand. Newt and Leta. There was more to consider, but I stuck to the basic facts at the moment. After all, I was certain time would leave me stranded in a sea of constantly wondering about the situation. It was then that I made up my mind to believe the best in Newt. There was some evidence to suggest that he wouldn't suddenly propose to Leta, although I tried not to think too much about it. The mental image of us on the docks, his fingers gently brushing against my hair... A memory that once brought joy now brought sadness and confusion. Why would he have done that if his affections were for Leta?

Newt had seemed so sincere. That day he had stepped out of his comfort zone in order to show me how he felt, I witnessed it. Perhaps I was wrong. No, I told myself firmly. Pick a side. Are you going to trust Newt or a silly little magazine? I closed my eyes, waiting to open them until my internal dialogue quieted down. With a tired yet persistent heart, I opened my eyes. Newt. I was going to believe the best in Newt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unfortunately, my earlier sentiments didn't stick around for good. Two weeks after receiving the letter, I found myself giving in to the tendrils of doubt lurking in the shadowy corners of my mind. By the time I had fully given myself over to them, four months had passed. There was no light inside, no hope of the rumour being untrue. Instead there was only a sad acceptance of the inevitable, and it replaced my confidence in what I previously believed to be true.

I sighed, my mind weary from all the thinking. It was exhausting, going back and forth, trying to determine what was real and what wasn't. Well, I've made up my mind. I'm done riding this emotional coaster that's only given me constant paranoia and sleepless nights. Newt was engaged to Leta, and that was that. There was nothing more to say.

From then on out, I remained convinced of this heartwrenching news. Better to accept the worst than doubt and realize it's true, right? Things weren't always so gloomy, however. Occasionally, I would catch a stray strand of possible hope, though it wasn't long before my jaded perspective of the situation would tear it to shreds. After all, Newt must have seen the article by now and he would have cleared up the misunderstanding if that was all it was: a misunderstanding. If only this could be that simple.

I don't blame him. Do I wish he had shown more interest in me and continued to write me letters? Of course. But dreams don't always come true. That's what I've learned and made sure never to forget. I suppose I'm resigned to the realities of life, and the fact of the matter is that a handsome, intelligent guy like Newt always ends up with a beautiful woman like Leta. Always.

With every passing day, I felt a little less pain. A little less hurt. I couldn't even be bothered to care why he'd chosen to be with Leta. I thought Newt and I had shared a spark in New York. He promised to give me a copy of his book in person, yet never showed. Instead, he proposed to Leta. Leta, the woman whose picture catches his eye, the spark that outshines every other spark. Tired of being second best and utterly alone, I accepted the truth: Newt had moved on. Even if he wasn't with Leta, I hadn't received a letter in quite a while.

As hard as it was to accept this, I did it to bring myself some closure. The last thing I needed was to be some desperate, lovesick woman chasing after a man (albeit a very sweet and caring man). Already I found myself smiling at the thought of him feeding the mooncalves or tending to the young occamies. Toughen up, Tina. With face down, eyes closed, and shoulders carrying twice the weight of the world, I sighed. I just hoped he was happy.