The Child Zoo

Chapter 16

Jingle bells
Jingle bells
Jingle all the way
O what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh...

Fat tears roll down my cheeks like angry rivers as I wrap my arms around my stomach protectively. The flashing lights from the camera come from every angle. I glare into the cameras with my red puffy eyes; if looks could kill I would have committed mass genocide.

It's Christmas Day, which means all of the vultures embarked on their mission to find their prey early. My pregnant stomach made me the perfect target for their hunt. I stand enclosed in my spot. My chest heaves as I cry and shake. There's nowhere for me to go; they're all circled around me and they won't let me out, I feel like I'm being smothered by a hundred people. I struggle to take in any oxygen, to find any way to survive. Agony fills me as I let out a loud cry and fall to my knees.

"Please! Please leave me alone!" I beg; I sound so hopeless and weak. They don't leave, they continue to bend and crouch, shoving and pushing each other to capture my suffering with their cameras. My head spins as I sob loudly; my head is pounding with the force of a thousand drums. I can't see, I can't hear, I can't taste, I feel like I'm drowning. A moment of finality hits me as I think this is it, this is my end. Black spots crowd the corners of my vision and my heart thumps with excruciating pain against my chest. I'm going to die.

"Alright alright that's enough." I can't stop crying enough to register who it is that is speaking. "You've had your fun and gotten what you were so hungry for now get away from her." The flashing and clicking slowly comes to a stop as the photographers leave. As they disperse it's as if a heavy fog is slowly leaving from me. The thump of my heart becomes less prominent, my senses come back to me and I can finally take a breath. Coming back to reality I look up and see Amanda, her head is tilted to the side and she gives me a sympathetic look, like one you would give a wounded animal.

Before I can think of anything to say, behind her and behind the crowd I catch a glimpse of a woman walking this way. Her face holds a confused expression and I almost can't believe what I'm seeing.

"Mom- my!" I hiccup as I stumble over my feet  to get to her. I throw myself around her legs and latch onto them. Resting my cheek on her leg I sob onto her, my tears wetting her cotton leggings.

"Oh, serendipity baby what happened, oh my god baby..." I just shake my head furiously and continue to sob as that's all I can do. Eventually my sobs turn into sharp loud breathes and I can feel myself hyperventilating. "Baby you have to calm down, you have to your body can't take it." I feel my mother crouch down and hug me, rocking me back and forth. "Sh shh shh I'm here baby I'm here."

"If I could begin to be
Half of what you think of me
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love
When I see the way you act
Wondering when I'm coming back
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love like you
Love like you
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you
Look at you go
I just adore you
I wish that I knew
What makes you think I'm so special
If I could begin to do
Something that does right by you
I would do about anything
I would even learn how to love
When I see the way you look
Shaken by how long it took
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love like you
Love like you
Love me like you"

My breaths start to slow down and my hiccups become less frequent at the sound of my mothers low singing. She stays with me on the ground, embracing me until my cries are nothing but sniffles and hiccups. Slowly my mother pulls away from me, her hands still resting on my shoulders.